rating: +187+x

Item #: SCP-1161

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1161 is to be stored in a display case in a locked testing room along with a computer (for transcription) under constant surveillance at Research Sector-██. After its daily transformation, Dr. ██████ is to remove the object from its display case and transcribe the entirety of SCP-1161's contents. When transcription is finished, SCP-1161 is to be closed properly and returned to its display case. Under no circumstances is anyone to handle SCP-1161 in any way before Dr. ██████ has completed his duties regarding the object. Any changes regarding SCP-1161 not at its regularly scheduled time are to be immediately reported to Dr. ██████.

Description: SCP-1161 is a black paperback book with a varying number of pages. The title, on both the cover and binding in white lettering changes every 24 hours at precisely 3:00 A.M. GMT, but invariably begin with the words, "How to". Daily, both the book's title, contents, and number of pages within change completely, unless the book remains open during its scheduled transformation, which will postpone the event to the next time at which it is 3:00 A.M. GMT and the object is fully closed.

SCP-1161 is only legible to the first individual to touch the object after its daily transformation. To all other observers, the book will appear to be blank, with the exception of the title on the cover and binding.

While the contents of the book vary wildly from day to day, the overall theme remains consistent. The object will always contain instructions on how to perform various actions, ranging from very useful to utterly pointless. The various descriptions printed inside the book are incredibly detailed, to the point of describing which specific muscles to contract when performing a physical movement. The instructions within generally describe the optimal technique to use regarding the action, even leading to the discovery of several previously unknown methods of [REDACTED]. Despite being extremely accurate in its descriptions, the book can be very confusing to the average reader, due to its overly descriptive nature.

A partial list of titles which have appeared since retrieval include:

• How to Build a Campfire
• How to Eat Spaghetti and Meatballs
• How to Hang a Painting
• How to Sculpt a Bird in Flight out of Granite
• How to Whistle
• How to Strangle a Woman
• How to Construct a [REDACTED]
• How to Open a Desk Drawer
• How to Cross-Country Ski
• How to [REDACTED]
• How To Clean a Necktie
• How to Commit Suicide by Hanging

Addendum 1161a: Several mentions have been made to a 'How to Ascend' throughout multiple variations of SCP-1161. Of particular interest was the mention at the end of 'How to Assimilate Information', referring readers to 'How to Ascend' for more information. Whether 'How to Ascend' is a variation of SCP-1161 or an entirely different book is being investigated.

Addendum 1161b: A note written by hand on the final page of SCP-1161 was found while it contained 'How to Build a Wooden Rocking Chair'. The note read "It will be next. Do you value this world?", and was visible to all who viewed the page.

Addendum 1161c: The title of SCP-1161 following 'How to Build a Wooden Rocking Chair' was 'How to Ascend'. When Dr. ██████ touched the object to begin transcribing its contents, he immediately withdrew his hand and stood up rigidly. After several seconds of standing completely still and not responding to inquiries, he sat down and immediately began reading through the book despite being ordered multiple times to begin transcription. After approximately █ hours of reading, Dr. ██████ calmly closed SCP-1161 and fell into a catatonic state from which he awoke at exactly 3:00 A.M. GMT the following day, coinciding with the book's daily change. After awaking, Dr. ██████ claimed to have no memories of anything following touching the object. Psychological evaluation of Dr. ██████ has been scheduled.

The position of Head of Research of SCP-1161 has been temporarily transferred to Dr. ████████.

Addendum 1161d: On ██/██/████ Dr. ██████ was found lying in his quarters with several puncture wounds in his scalp, which upon further inspection, were found to extend into his brain. A battery powered drill gripped in his hand suggests that the injuries were self inflicted. Though currently in a comatose state, tests have shown Dr. ██████'s brain to be processing information at a highly accelerated rate.

Reclassification as Euclid requested.

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