SCP-1162 Extended Testing Log
rating: +147+x

Please note all tests with the following format:
Subject:
Item Retrieved:
Item Lost:
Notes:


Subject: Dr. King
Item Retrieved: One (1) plastic bag, containing 492 apple seeds
Item Lost: One (1) Rolex wristwatch, gold
Notes: This is the first test that has produced something the subject hasn't lost.


Subject: Sr. Researcher Grant

Note: Sr. Researcher Grant came in with the intention of testing continuously, and had on his person 60 standard pens.

Item Retrieved: One (1) set of keys to a 1988 Buick LeSabre
Item Lost: One (1) pen
Notes: I sold this car a long time ago. Damn.

Item Retrieved: One (1) medium size condom, in wrapper
Item Lost: One (1) pen
Notes: I think I lost this back in high school.

Item Retrieved: One (1) paperback copy of Fahrenheit 451
Item Lost: One (1) pen
Notes: I was just looking for this the other day!

Item Retrieved: One (1) pen, confirmed to be from a previous test
Item Lost: One (1) pen
Notes: Huh. Would you look at that.

Sr. Researcher Grant proceeded to test an additional 30 times, each time losing and gaining one standard ballpoint pen.


Subject: D-1144
Subject was instructed to think about a screwdriver he had lost while working as a mechanic for all tests.
Item Retrieved: One (1) passport for D-1144, dated 1996
Item Lost: One (1) pen
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One (1) plastic bag, containing approximately four grams of cocaine
Item Lost: One (1) pen
Notes: Item confiscated immediately.

Item Retrieved: One (1) screwdriver, but not the one he was thinking of
Item Lost: One (1) pen
Notes: Additional tests showed no ability to guide what object is retrieved.


Subject: Agent Luminus
Note: Agent Luminus hypothesized that SCP-1162 becomes recursive when "fed" a large number of similar items, and had in his possession several small items from his locker.

Item Retrieved: One (1) pair of generic sunglasses, black
Item Lost: One (1) SCP Foundation ID badge
Notes: Agent Luminus has been given a replacement; however, after this test, "1162 ate it" will no longer be allowed as an excuse for losing your badge. Leave it outside the testing area.

Item Retrieved: One (1) 512mb stick of RAM
Item Lost: One (1) small salt shaker
Notes: Item donated to Site IT department for spares use.

Item Retrieved: A matched set of seven (7) matryoshka nesting dolls, nested
Item Lost: One (1) MasterCard debit card
Notes: "Well, it's a good thing I don't have to explain to the bank how I lost it."

Item Retrieved: One (1) KA-BAR Combat Knife, heavily rusted
Item Lost: At first glance, nothing; however, upon closer examination, Agent Luminus' sidearm was shown to be missing the firing pin.
Notes: "I'm gonna leave while I'm still ahead."


Subject: Researcher Veldi
Item Retrieved: A small plastic box containing various Lego pieces.
Item Lost: One (1) fishing license.
Notes: "Of course this happens right before a fishing trip."

Item Retrieved: One (1) Vizio brand television remote control.
Item Lost: One (1) iPhone
Notes: "Son of a[EXPLETIVES REDACTED]"


Subject: Sergeant Hendrix
Item Retrieved: One (1) 1989 train ticket to LA
Item Lost: Left Combat Boot
Notes: "Well I don't think I can refund this ticket for a new boot."

Item Retrieved: Left Combat Boot
Item Lost: Right Combat Boot
Notes: "Odd."

Item Retrieved: Right Combat Boot
Item Lost: Left Combat Boot
Notes: "Now its just [EXPLETIVE] with me."


Subject: K████ R█████████, age 7

Note: Subject has been born and raised in a compound of the recently disrupted ████████ ███ cult, where personal ownership of objects was not permitted.

Item Retrieved: One (1) deciduous tooth, canine
Item Lost: One (1) US quarter, 2002
Notes: Subject given amnestics and returned to civilian society.


Subject: Agent Richards

Note: Subject requested permission to attempt to retrieve a memory card lost during exploration of [REDACTED] Subject furnished with 10 identical memory cards to attempt to facilitate "similar loss and gain" pattern.

Item Retrieved: One (1) dental retainer
Item Lost: One (1) memory card
Notes: Mom never did let me forget losing that.

Item Retrieved: One (1) pack of cigarettes, waterlogged
Item Lost: One (1) memory card

Item Retrieved: One (1) memory card, damaged
Item Lost: One (1) memory card
Notes: ID tag confirmed it was the one lost in that snipe-hunt, looks like it was partially crushed. I'm not looking forward to explaining the loss of ███ bucks worth of equipment to get back some soggy smokes and a useless wreck.


Subject: D-5524
Note: D-5524 was carrying Keter class object SCP-████, in a passive state, to see if SCP-1162 could be considered as a containment option for troublesome small SCP objects.
Item Retrieved: One (1) set of iHome capsule speakers, without cord
Item Lost: SCP-████
Notes: D-5524 was terminated immediately afterwards.

Subject: D-5566
Note: D-5566 was chosen because she had no knowledge of SCP-████ or the previous experiment. A full security complement was on hand, with sufficient tools to contain the object were it to re-appear.
Item Retrieved: SCP-████, in active state
Item Lost: Unknown
Notes: D-5566 was immediately killed by SCP-████ upon removing it from SCP-1162. No other fatalities were experienced; SCP-████ was returned to containment without incident. It appears that if used as a "disposal chute," the next item pulled out will be the last one deliberately put in. Due to the transitory nature of SCP-1162 if not used regularly, this poses an unacceptable risk of containment breach if used in this fashion. No further testing in this area will be allowed.


Subject: Agent White

Item Retrieved: One (1) well worn tube sock, clean, labeled "Hanes"
Item Lost: Contact lens, left eye
Notes: "Really? I'm wearing about four layers of cold weather gear and it takes my friggin' contact lens?"

Item Retrieved: One (1) pay scale warrant, as written out to Agent White, for level ██, prior to demotion on 04/01/████.
Item Lost: Contact lens, right eye
Notes: "Okay, now we're talkin'. If I can see this correctly, does this mean I'm getting my old pay rate back?"

Note: Agent White did not technically lose her previous pay rate. Human Resources agrees that Agent White voluntarily relinquished her previous pay rate through her documented sub-standard performance in the aforementioned reporting period. As one cannot "find" what one does not "lose", her pay rate will remain at its current lesser rate.

Item Retrieved: [REDACTED]
Item Lost: Undergarments
Notes: "No way is this mine! I'm married, what would I even need something like this for? Okay, stick a fork in me, I'm done. I mean… ahh, this is ridiculous."

Head Researcher Note: Inquiries into the nature of the retrieved item will remain unanswered, and additionally be reported to HR.


Subject: Dr. Neiman
Note: Dr. Neiman conducted all tests while holding his office wastebasket, which was full at the time.

Item Retrieved: One (1) CD for the edutainment game "Dinosaur Hunter", without case
Item Lost: One (1) soda can
Notes: I remember this. I left it in the family computer when I was 11, and Mom took it out and put it in "an easily memorable place". Never saw it again.

Item Retrieved: One (1) pair of eyeglasses, matching Dr. Neiman's current prescription.
Item Lost: Unknown object from deep in the wastebasket
Notes: Lost these on a trip to Seattle last year. I'll keep them as spares.

Item Retrieved: One (1) 512 MB flash drive
Item Lost: One (1) crumpled-up document
Notes: From middle school. At least the experience taught me to keep backups.

Item Retrieved: One (1) paperback copy of Furies of Calderon
Item Lost: The wastebasket itself (remaining contents unaffected)
Notes: Oops. Didn't think of that.

Head Researcher Notes: This is the first time that SCP-1162 has taken an object too large to fit inside of it. Any further tests by this individual should be closely observed.


Subject: Dr. Hughman
Item Retrieved: One (1) 2GB Flash Drive with his name carved onto metal casing.
Item Lost: All body hair, internal and external.
Notes: Well, beats getting waxed I suppose.


Subject: Agent Luminus

Item Retrieved: One (1) copy of issue 1 of The X-Men (1963), in fair condition
Item Lost: Casio wrist-watch band, but not main watch body
Notes: This was in mint condition when it was stolen out of the back of my moving truck after I was reassigned the last time!

Item Retrieved: One (1) 10ml syringe, filled with a mixture of sodium pentathol, scopolamine, and [REDACTED]
Item Lost: Coffee cup, but not contents
Notes: Ow! Dammit. Well, I could have really used this back when I was actually interrogating that guy from the Church.

Item Retrieved: One (1) iPod nano, blue
Item Lost: One (1) iPod nano, blue, engraved
Notes: How am I going to explain to my girlfriend that I found my old iPod and lost the one she got me for my birthday?


Subject: Dr. Mathanach

Item Retrieved: One (1) small iron top
Item Lost: One (1) bowtie
Notes: Damn it, that was my last one.

Item Retrieved: One (1) silhouette target, multiple bullet holes
Item Lost: One (1) bowler hat
Notes: You've got to be kidding me, I've had that hat for years!

Note: Dr. Mathanach has requested that if anyone should retrieve his hat, that it is returned to him immediately.

Note: None of us are going to find your hat, Doctor. We can only retrieve things we've lost. —Dr. Neiman


Subject: Dr. Mijak

Item Retrieved: One (1) 20-franc bill
Item Lost: One (1) set of prescription glasses
Notes: Really? Francs? Who in the world still accepts these?

Item Retrieved: One (1) set of documents.
Item Lost: One (1) labcoat
Notes: W-wha-? No, no! Hold on, give me one more test! Gah, Gerald is going to kill me…

Note: Confiscated documents were revealed to be a rather… unfriendly document criticizing Sr. Researcher Gerald. Dr. Mijak confessed he wrote the document after a particularly difficult day of work, though he insists he never meant to show them to the Researcher.


Subject: Dr. Neiman

Item Retrieved: One (1) car tire chain
Item Lost: One (1) chewing gum wrapper
Notes: Gee, if only I had found this before I bought replacements.

Item Retrieved: One (1) box of stick butter, empty. Contents had apparently melted and leaked out.
Item Lost: One (1) dollar bill
Notes: Yeewww. This was unaccounted for after a grocery run last week. I'm going to find sun-melted butter all over my car trunk, aren't I…

Item Retrieved: One (1) card-wallet, including contents
Item Lost: Wad of assorted store receipts
Notes: Bingo!


Subject: Dr. Diamond
Note: Dr. Diamond has requested testing on whether or not SCP-1162 is sentient, specifically if it can respond to written messages. Also, he wishes to find out where exactly the lost items disappear to, and if there is a correlation regarding location of disappeared objects.

Item Retrieved: A large amount of fecal matter in a plastic bag.
Item Lost: One (1) folded-up piece of wide-ruled notebook paper with “How are you doing today” written on the inside in pencil.
Notes: I remember this! I was going to sell it to a science lab for DNA testing like, a year ago. Don’t look at me like that.

Item Retrieved: One (1) pair of tie-dyed socks, the size for a 7th grader.
Item Lost: One (1) iPod playing “For Your Love” by the Yardbirds on loop setting on full volume.
Notes: We could still hear the music after the device disappeared, although it did sound more distant. Investigation of the sound revealed the device stuck inside a wall on the floor directly under this one. Maybe SCP-1162 teleports all of the items lost below itself somewhere in the ground. This should be investigated.

Item Retrieved: One (1) purple round ball.
Item Lost: One (1) small metallic tracking device courtesy of the SCP electronics development team.
Notes: Device was recovered from an oil tanker in the middle of the Red Sea.
-Well, there goes that hypothesis.


Subject: Dr. M██████

Item Retrieved: Keys to Dr. M██████'s dormitory.
Item Lost: Standard Foundation ID Badge.

Item Retrieved: Standard Foundation ID Badge.
Item Lost: Replacement Foundation ID Badge.
Notes: *[EXPLETIVE]” Dr. M██████

Head Researcher Notes: We did warn you about the ID badges, Dr. M██████. I hope you like paperwork, because there's a lot of it in your future.


Subject: Dr. H███████

Item Retrieved: One (1) wooden sword replica
Item Lost: One (1) pencil
Notes: "Cool, I thought I lost this when I moved!" Dr. H███████

Item Retrieved: One (1) paper fan
Item Lost: Package of cookies
Notes: "Aww, I wanted to eat those for lunch today."

Item Retrieved: One (1) umbrella
Item Lost: One (1) 20 dollar bill
Notes: "I don't like this thing anymore, it's messing with me." Dr. H███████


Subject: Dr. D████
Item Retrieved: One (1) 50cm Foam Sword
Item Lost: One (1) 10 dollar bill
Notes: "I lost this when I was 12, but it's not worth anything near 10 dollars."

Item Retrieved: One (1) photo, burnt beyond recognition
Item Lost: One (1) pocket watch
Notes: "That was a family heirloom." Dr. D████


Subject: Dr. A████
Note: Dr. A████ was using SCP-1162 in an effort to find several important documents he had lost. He had, on his possession, 100 envelopes containing junk mail.
Note: I didn't lose them! I just temporarily forgot where they were!

Item Retrieved: One (1) mathematics revision guide.
Item Lost: One (1) Piece of junk mail from a Payment Protection Insurance Refund Firm.
Notes: Lost this when I was 16. Thank god I didn't need it.

Item Retrieved: One (1) $20 Bill, soaking wet.
Item Lost: An unknown item in the pile.
Notes: Oh great, my wallet went through the wash, didn't it?

Item Retrieved: One (1) Wallet, soaking wet, but not contents.
Item Lost: One (1) Foundation Lab Coat.
Notes: Great, my labcoat's gone and my wallet DID go through the wash. [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!!

Item Retrieved: One (1) set of Documents relating to [DATA EXPUNGED].
Item Lost: One (1) set of AA Batteries from a personal torch
Notes: Finally!

Head Researcher Notes: On closer inspection, it appeared that these were the first draft of the documents he was seeking, which he already had a copy of. The final draft that he was looking for never surfaced. SCP items are not to be used as an excuse for not making regular backups.


Subject: Dr. Alden
Note: Doctor Alden had five (5) standard #2 pencils on her person
Item Retrieved: Dessicated carcass of a tarantula spider
Item Lost: One (1) #2 pencil
Notes: [EXPLETIVE] Bristle escaped her cage a few months ago and I hadn't seen her since!


Subject: Dr. M██████
Item Retrieved: Replacement ID Card from previous test
Item Lost: Small binder full of important documents
Notes: "[EXPLETIVE]."-Dr. M██████


Subject: D-6141
Note: Subject was instructed to remove two items from SCP-1162 in two consecutive actions.
Item 1 Retrieved: One VHS tape in SP mode labeled "Home security 1987/05/02". Subject was noted to become ecstatic upon retrieval of item.
Item 1 Lost: One issued sock
Item 2 Retrieved: One half empty pack of Camel brand cigarettes
Item 2 Lost: One VHS tape in SP Mode labeled "Home security 1987/05/02"
Notes: Subject immediately attempted to thrust hand back into SCP-1162 upon realizing the first item retrieved had been lost again. Subject was restrained before this could be accomplished. Upon questioning, D-6141 stated "That was the video from the night she died, and the night I was arrested".


Subject: Dr. Opal
Item Retrieved: One (1) ███████ brand pornographic magazine
Item Lost: One (1) pair of socks
Notes: "Oh boy. I remember buying that when I was 13 and it got lost in the abyss of my bed." - Dr. Opal

Head Researcher Notes: Yes, it got "lost." And I'm sure your parents aren't the ones who did the laundry. Think about it.


Subject: Dr. ██████
Item Retrieved: The dessicated remains of one (1) abnormally long burrito
Item Lost: All hair on head, excepting a single strip down the middle
Notes: "I remember this from my 16th birthday. I had an obsession with burritos back then. I [EXPLETIVE] hate mohawks, though." - Dr. ██████ (All hair grew back at a normal rate)


Subject: Dr. Bell
Item Retrieved: One (1) brown teddy bear
Item Lost: Left sock
Notes: "I remember going absolutely berserk when I lost this at Summer Camp when I was 5. Could never find it…" - Dr. Bell


Subject: Dr. Westrin
Item Retrieved: A broken Scranton Reality Anchor
Item Lost: Dr. Westrin's house keys.
Notes: Let's just say that I was hunting down a reality bending entity, and I may have lost it in the car. That was both a large medical bill, and tons of paperwork. -Dr. Westrin

Head Researcher Notes: Next time, consider taking two.


Subject: Agent Immanuel
Item Retrieved: One (1) Nokia Lumia 635 smartphone
Item Lost: Standard issue Foundation security radio
Notes: Son of a [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!

Addendum: It's highly advised not to bring any sort of communication devices to this chamber. -Dr. ███████

Head Researcher Notes: It's highly advised not to bring anything you would have to fill out paperwork to explain losing to this chamber, as well. Luckily, we keep a stack in the observation chamber for just such occasions.


Subject: Agent Ul████
Item Retrieved: One (1) "A Flock of Seagulls" album.
Item Lost: One (1) USA Two Dollar Bill
Notes: This Album is worth more than two dollars. -Agent Ul████


Subject: Unmanned Exploratory Unit - Serial# [DATA EXPUNGED] (deployed at the request of Dr. Bridgeman)
Item Retrieved: One (1) Non-ISO compliant hex-wrench type shaft bolt. Serial number corresponds with service records of unit used in experiment.
Item Lost: One (1) x86 based microcontroller array from the secondary steering system
Notes: All future losses incurred as a result of the use of robotic or autonomous resources in tests with SCP-1162 will be subtracted from individual research budgets or salaries, unless previously approved by a Level 3 or higher researcher. Seriously, Bridgeman, those things cost more to fix than we spend acquiring some D-Class personnel.


Subject: Dr. Jeremaiah
Item Retrieved: One (1) Trezor wallet containing ███ Bitcoin
Item Lost: One (1) sock
Notes: [EXPLETIVE] YEAH! WOOOOOO!!!

Note: Following the discovery of the wallet, Dr. Jeremaiah immediately resigned his post as a Foundation researcher. He was discharged from the Foundation the following day.


Subject: Dr. B██████
Item Retrieved: One (1) pint of subject's blood, donated earlier in the week.
Item Lost: Subject's Lunchbox, contents unaffected.
Notes: What the [EXPLETIVE] am I supposed to do with this?!
Head Researcher Notes: Take it back to the medical bay. What else would you do with it?


Subject: Researcher S█████

Note: Researcher S█████ came in with a large number of spherical objects, varying in size from 1 mm in diameter to 20 cm in diameter, with the intention of determining how items that are lost are selected by SCP-1162. Researcher S█████ wore a one-piece jumpsuit instead of the standard Foundation researcher uniform and carried nothing else on his person to minimize the chance of an unintended item being taken by SCP-1162.

Item Retrieved: One (1) U.S. penny
Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 8 cm in diameter
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One (1) empty plastic water bottle
Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 5.5 cm in diameter
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One (1) broken half of an unmarked compact disc
Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 10.5 cm in diameter
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One (1) sphere, 8 cm in diameter
Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 2.5 cm in diameter
Notes: The number of items retrieved before previously taken items start to return is consistent with Sr. Researcher Grant's experiment. -Researcher S█████

Using data from 75 repetitions of the experiment, Researcher S█████ determined that spheres selected were normally distributed with regard to size, with a mean diameter of approximately 7.25 cm and a standard deviation of approximately 2.5 cm. Spheres above 15 cm in diameter were not selected during any of the trials, though it is unknown whether this was because SCP-1162 cannot take items that do not fit within it, or because the probability of an object of that size being selected based on the normal distribution is 0.1% or below.

Note: These spheres had no personal significance, so we've yet to determine if the personal meaning attributed to an object influences the probability that the object is taken. However, it seems clear that meaningless items are truly taken at random. -Researcher S█████


Subject: Researcher Clark
Item Retrieved: One (1) pair of white █████ brand earbuds
Item Lost: One (1) $20 bill
Notes: I bought those at the dollar store, there's no way they cost that much. Ripoff. -Researcher Clark

Item Retrieved: One (1) rock with a crudely drawn face on it
Item Lost: One (1) fountain pen
Notes: I made this as a kid before I lost it. I suppose it's a fair trade. -Researcher Clark

Item Retrieved: One (1) decaying piece of General Tso's chicken
Item Lost: One (1) blank checkbook
Notes: I haven't eaten General Tso's in at least two months. I wouldn't touch that. -Researcher Clark


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