Item #: SCP-1439
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1439 is to be kept in a locked drawer in Site 24’s testing center. Access to and experimentation with SCP-1439 requires prior permission from at least one (1) Level 3 Senior Researcher. Only one instance of SCP-1439-1 is allowed to be tested at a time, and should be destroyed once the test has concluded. Currently, testing is suspended on SCP-1439 due to previous containment breaches. Testing may resume once all portions of the object are back in place. Though additional safety measures have been put in place making another breach unlikely, any instances of SCP-1439-1 found outside their testing chamber should be destroyed immediately.
Description: SCP-1439 is a small sheet of 8 round smiley-face stickers. Each sticker is approximately 4 centimeters in diameter, and has a name printed above it which is not part of the sticker itself. The names above each sticker are Edward, Thomas, Gordon, Henry, Albert, James, Charles, and Harvey. The first three stickers are light blue, while the others are green, grey, red, purple, and brown, respectively. All 8 have two black dots for eyes and a simple black curve for the mouth. The James sticker was initially missing from the sheet when the Foundation originally acquired SCP-1439, but appeared again after approximately three months. The Edward sticker is currently unaccounted for, as it disappeared 9 months after the SCP was originally contained. Investigation is ongoing to discover the individual(s) responsible for this containment breach.
SCP-1439’s effects begin manifesting when one of the stickers is placed on any object or surface, including plants, animals, and human beings. Once the sticker is in place, it will slowly dissolve over a period of 3-4 minutes. Human testing subjects have reported a slight tingling sensation when this happens, but no pain. Within the next 8-10 minutes, the subject will begin to become anthropomorphic, with a face appearing where the sticker was originally placed. At this point the subject is considered an instance of SCP-1439-1. After 20 minutes, the face will become more detailed, and become capable of blinking and speaking. Most instances of SCP-1439-1 tested so far have spoken American English in various regional dialects, though one was also capable of speaking fluent Cantonese.
Approximately an hour after the initial exposure to SCP-1439, a set of arms and legs will begin to grow from the subject, giving it a more humanoid appearance. Instances of SCP-1439-1 will have varying levels of mobility, depending entirely on the size, weight, and general shape of the original subject. Subjects shorter than 0.8 meters in height are usually completely anthropomorphous, while larger subjects will only be partially affected. As an example to illustrate how this affects both inanimate objects, and subjects like humans and animals, see Notable Experiments Log 2468 below.
Instances of SCP-1439-1 exhibit a variety of behaviors, but are generally emotionally manipulative and/or single-minded once they are capable of speech, and act hostile when their demands are not met. Psychotic episodes are common and often result in acts of violence from the subject, prompting their termination as further testing efforts from that point are usually futile.
So far the only recourse for returning SCP-1439 to its original state is to destroy any instances of SCP-1439-1. Depending on their size and the area affected, sapient subjects may need to be terminated, or only have part of their body removed for disposal. Through testing, this has resulted in the death or maiming of ██ animals and humans.
-Human testing has been suspended indefinitely, due to the unpredictable effects. I fear the results of the last test may have revealed the true purpose of SCP-1439; everything else has simply been a side effect of the object's misuse.– Dr. Carver
They’re 2, they’re 4, they’re 6, they’re 8
They’re filled with rage and lust and hate
They know what they want to do
They want to rape and murder you
So lock your doors at night and day
And hope that they stay far away
Their own psychosis never ends
Thomas and his friends
Thomas, he’s the shooty one
James sure loves his big shotgun
Albert sends you mail sometimes
Gordon loves sexual crimes
Charles, the military buff
Henry kills and lies and bluffs
Edward wants some skin to wear
Harvey, sado-masochistic flair!