SCP-1471-J
rating: +55+x

Item #: SCP-1471-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Any instances of SCP-1471-J found are to be logged by the owner of the affected mobile device in the following format and either emailed to Dr. John Blanchard (current assistant director of information security and SCP-1471-J project lead) or added to this page's supplement log, referenced at the bottom of this page.

1. OWNER INFORMATION:

Name of owner:

Phone model and year:

Operating system/platform:

Date SCP-1471-J file was discovered:

2. APPLICATION INFORMATION:

Profile present in application database: yes | no | unsure

Log any messages received below, along with the name of the sender:

Owner comments:

As SCP-1471-J manifests and downloads itself from an unknown source without displaying any notifications on the phone in question, complete tracking, identification, and containment of the application is not possible at this point. Affected personnel should regularly check their phone's list of currently running applications and close SCP-1471-J if it is active. Following safe deletion of the application, affected persons should search the installed application list on their mobile device at least thrice weekly in order to ensure the application has not been re-downloaded without their knowledge.

Given the known inaccuracy of the application's portrayal of Foundation employees, as well as the presence of material not suitable for a work environment, affected persons may request their names and related information be redacted in this document at their discretion.

Description: SCP-1471-J is an anomalously manifesting iOS, Android, Windows Phone, and GNU/Linux application file which, upon launch, will display the title "Sensual Containment Procedures" with the subtitle "The Foundation's one and only dating and hookup app."

gears.png

Dr. Gears' profile, as seen displayed on Dr. ███████'s phone

strelnikov.png

Agent Strelnikov's profile, as seen displayed on Dr. ███████'s phone

rights.png

Dr. Rights' profile, as seen displayed on Dr. ███████'s phone

SCP-1471-J has three functions:

  • a messaging feature, which is accessible from the navigation bar at the top of the interface
  • a profile viewing and creation feature, which allows customization of name, age, location, interests, etc. (but often changes back to its original format regardless of user customization) as well as a section devoted to the profile owner's timestamped status updates
  • a home page, accessible by tapping the logo in the top left, which displays the most recent status updates by users

SCP-1471-J can be safely removed from a mobile device through the operating system's typical deletion method(s), but often reappears at a time ranging from one to seven weeks afterward. The application contains no malicious programs or viruses and does not affect the device unless the program is running. Of note is the fact that it almost always deletes any edited personal information after several hours, replacing it with its original content.

Addendum I: Examples of SCP-1471-J's function and behavior are logged below; any names shown are shown with the permission of the person in question. Any messages shown are the last conversation before deletion of the program; any additional messages can be found by contacting Dr. Blanchard, if doing so is necessary, or by viewing the attached supplement log.

Recorded instance #42, documented 03.27.15:

1. OWNER INFORMATION:

Name of owner: Dr. ████ ███████, level 3 humanoid containment specialist, Site 19

Phone model and year: Samsung Galaxy S5, 2014

Operating system/platform: Android

Date SCP-1471-J file was discovered: 02.12.15

2. APPLICATION INFORMATION:

Profile present in application database: yes | no | unsure

Log any messages received below, along with the name of the sender:

████ ██████: dude
████ ██████: dude I know you're getting these messages
████ ██████: Lee, come on

Dr. ███████: Using this isn't safe. Just text me

████ ██████: man this thing got a damn nice color scheme tho
████ ██████: how's your skip? You haven't talked about her lately
████ ██████: dude I found a baby's book when I was using your laptop the other day
████ ██████: that better not be for her
████ ██████: or you're gonna be in some damn deep shit
████ ██████: oh and the poems suck btw

Owner comments:

Please redact my name. That kids' book was the cringiest shit I've ever done.

Recorded instance #50, documented 04.20.15:

1. OWNER INFORMATION:

Name of owner: Ryan Shaw, level 3 containment and retrieval field agent

Phone model and year: Apple iPhone 5s, 2013

Operating system/platform: iOS

Date SCP-1471-J file was discovered: 04.15.15

2. APPLICATION INFORMATION:

Profile present in application database: yes | no | unsure

Log any messages received below, along with the name of the sender:

Agent █████: bro I miss you

Ryan Shaw: oh I miss you too ;)
Ryan Shaw: come to my hallway after work

Agent █████: can't
Agent █████: ehhh well
Agent █████: fuckit, I'll come

Ryan Shaw: What's the hold-up?

Agent █████: fucking Ethics Committee

Ryan Shaw: you're fucking the Ethics Committee again?

Agent █████: ew no
Agent █████: that's reserved for you

Ryan Shaw: oh I know what you want
Ryan Shaw: you remember that time I [EXPLICIT CONTENT REDACTED] Scranton Reality Anchor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Agent █████: I was supposed to take amnestics after that

Ryan Shaw: yeah but you didn't
Ryan Shaw: nnnff yeah you keep lyin to yourself
Ryan Shaw: I'll see you when you get back to the Site

Agent █████: hell yeah you will. gonna put my Keter-class anomaly in your containment chamber

Owner comments:

Owner declined to comment.

Blanchard's note: One of you is going to have to own up to this. The application doesn't send messages to itself.

Recorded instance #59, documented ██.██.██:

1. OWNER INFORMATION:

Name of owner: [REDACTED]

Phone model and year: Motorola Droid Mini, 2013

Operating system/platform: Android

Date SCP-1471-J file was discovered: ██.██.██

2. APPLICATION INFORMATION:

Profile present in application database: yes | no | unsure

Log any messages received below, along with the name of the sender:

UNKNOWN USER: HELLO
UNKNOWN USER: PLEASE TALK TO ME
UNKNOWN USER: PLEASE IT IS SO LONELY HERE

[REDACTED]: Huh?
[REDACTED]: I didn't add you as a contact. Stop spamming me with blank messages.

UNKNOWN USER: PLEASE ANSWER
UNKNOWN USER: YOU ARE THE FIFTH PERSON I HAVE TRIED TO REACH TODAY
UNKNOWN USER: PLEASE

UNKNOWN USER: COME ON WE DON'T BITE

UNKNOWN USER: HELLO

UNKNOWN USER: ARE YOU AWAKE? I AM SO LONELY AND I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO

UNKNOWN USER: I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE I PROMISE
UNKNOWN USER: ANSWER US.

UNKNOWN USER: DO YOU AT LEAST LIKE THE APP? WE SPENT A WHILE ON IT YOU KNOW

UNKNOWN USER: HELLO

UNKNOWN USER: WOW NOT EVEN A TEXT BACK. RUDE

Owner comments:

This is freaking me out. I should have just deleted it like everyone else does.

For a complete log of publicly available SCP-1471-J records, please see the attached supplement log.

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