Item #: SCP-1763
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The stairwell leading into the basement containing SCP-1763 is to be kept closed at all times, and guarded from the inside by two security personnel. A clearance level of 2 or higher is required for entrance. Personnel interested in viewing video records of performance incidents are to contact Dr. Howder.
Description: SCP-1763 is a Class-4 (reclassified from Class-3 following incident 1763-64) interdimensional portal located in the basement of ████ West 38th Street, New York City, NY1. At the time SCP-1763 was discovered, 76 folding chairs had been set up facing SCP-1763, in a formation typical of a proscenium space. While there is no box office, a metal bowl is placed on a small table at the entrance to the seating area with the label "donations". Any objects placed in the bowl will disappear at exactly one hour following the end of any performance incident. One hour before a performance incident, 40 to 70 programs will appear beside the bowl, detailing the performance that will take place along with a brief summary of the social context of the performance and an overlook of the organization performing the piece. Throughout Foundation containment of SCP-1763 only one organization has performed; however, several programs indicate that previous "companies" have made use of the venue.
The reality visible within SCP-1763 appears to be a proscenium arch type stage, with two permanent sets of curtains2. The theatre is mainly constructed from wood3, with metal scaffolding above the stage4. This stage area is designated SCP-1763-1.
SCP-1763-1 is currently used as a theatre venue by a large company designated SCP-1763-A. This company will perform on a monthly basis, with limited runs during the last full week of the month from Monday to Saturday. Shows typically start at 18:00 and run until 20:00 - 22:00, with a 15 - 20 minute intermission. There may also be a matinee on Fridays or Saturdays at 2:00. Alongside these regular performances, SCP-1763-A may also produce children's shows, stand-up comedy, or improvised theatre5.
Members of SCP-1763-A show numerous anomalous properties. SCP-1763-A-16 is an incorporeal entity which operates through mechanical hands extending inwards from off-stage, SCP-1763-A-5, -6, and -12 are entirely skeletal, SCP-1763-A-7 and -8 possess two sets of arms, and SCP-1763-A-13 appears to be a member of Homo neanderthalis. Players may or may not be type-casted depending on their appearance.
Construction of the set begins two weeks before opening, with dress rehearsals occurring three days before opening. Pieces performed by SCP-1763-A vary widely. Approximately one quarter of all performances correspond to existing plays. So far the perceived cost of a production and the frequencies of production have not changed with audience attendance or the amount donated.
Attempts to interact with the space within SCP-1763 have so far been unsuccessful. Tunneling around and into SCP-1763's apparent space leads to a mirror image of SCP-1763.
Addendum: Samples of productions:
Performance Incident #: 1
Performance: "Ghoul or Girl" by "Glashmer Haghjsd"
Program Description: A look at the life of a young, female Ghoul as she struggles to find her identity in a world of four genders. Body image problems, red squirting, and how parents are expected to deal with these issues are some of the numerous issues addressed in this piece.
Observations: The four genders acknowledged in the play are male, female, "Hansi", and "Frog". SCP-1763-A-3 vomited an orange fluid onto the stage during the second act.
Performance Incident #: 4
Performance: Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Program Description: Samuel Beckett's classic play is now being presented by the Harsh Lot Theatre Company. Vladimir and Estragon wait for a mysterious figure named Godot and provide insight into many problems facing society today.
Observations: Researchers agreed SCP-1763-A-13's performance as Estragon was "charming". While mentions of Godot remained unchanged, "God" was replaced with "Dog" throughout the production. The reason for this remains unknown.
Performance Incident #: 14
Performance: "Play With the Jenklsedn" by "Rodney Harper"
Program Description: A play all children should attend, Play With the Jenklsedn addresses problems of growing up, family issues, and even how to deal with a family pet.
Observations: Scenes include "Bad Words", "Why We Share", and "Sexual Problems with Cats".
Performance Incident #: 21
Performance: "Love and a Sea Blorb" by "J"
Program Description: A new comedy by J, Love and a Sea Blorb is sure to keep your appendix rumbling as we watch a man slowly fall into madness when a sea blorb breaks up with his mother!
Observations: The production was overall quite humorous, albeit somewhat disturbing.
Performance Incident #: 22
Performance: "Yuk Yuks for Schmuck Schmucks"
Program Description: For one night only, see some of Transervita's greatest comedians come all the way to New York for some great stand-up!
Observations: SCP-1763-A-34 emitted a high-pitched, constant shriek for 10 minutes which caused uncontrollable laughter among researchers. Recommendation to avoid productions by any similar entities.
Performance Incident#: 31
Performance: Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Program Description: One of Shakespeare's most famous works, the Harsh Lot Theatre Company performs their interpretation of this historic piece.
Observations: Entire work was performed backwards, including the words themselves. In spite of this, the production was described by researchers as "oddly compelling".
Performance Incident#: 36
Performance: "Hat" by "Elaine Eniale"
Program Description: On top on bottom on top on bottom on top on bottom you are nothing
Observations: An experimental, 6 hour piece consisting of SCP-1763-A-37 removing and replacing a New York Yankees baseball cap while repeating "Hats are the system. We are the system. We are hats." Due to SCP-1763-A-37's properties, the hat was covered in a thick, pink slime.
Performance incident#: 40
Performance: "From Outer Space"
Program Description: Some of Harsh Lot's best improvisers put on a two-hour show about an astronaut on Mars. What happens next? We'll just have to wait and find out.
Observations: Mars was repeatedly referred to as being blue.