Item #: SCP-1834
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1834 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber. It is to be given daily doses of activated carbon, copper chlorophyllin, and medication for arthritis. Its rations are to exclude foods that contain red meats, legumes, and eggs. As it is compliant with being contained, no further procedures are necessary.
SCP-1834 has requested:
- A low, sturdy table with rounded edges for its containment chamber (Approved)
- To have its performances recorded (Approved)
- To watch the recordings of its performances (Denied)
- Alcoholic beverages (Denied)
- Cigars (Denied)
- To have its hat back (Denied)
- An accurate wristwatch (Approved)
- The collected written works of Beatrix Potter (Approved in part)
- Permission to conduct its performances in front of an audience of personnel "so the effort doesn't go to waste" (Approved, contingent on good behavior)
Description: SCP-1834 is a male human, African-American, approximately 501 years of age. It has sparse graying hair, dark skin, and widely-spaced teeth. Where its eyes should be, there are instead a pair of X's sewn into the skin with black thread. Cursory examination shows that even though the flesh bulges outwards in the manner of closed eyes, it does not have eyeballs or eye sockets underneath. X-rays confirm that its cranium is constructed from multiple thick overlapping plates of bone with a lack of features in the ocular region. Despite this, the bulged areas of skin where the sewn X's are located act as fully functional eyes by means not currently understood. SCP-1834 is arthritic, requiring the use of a cane, and has trimethylaminuria, a genetic condition which causes intense fish-like body odor.
At will, SCP-1834 is able to elongate the areas of skin which act as its eyes into long, flexible, cylindrical eyestalks. It maintains full control over their position and motion, and as of the latest tests can extend them to a maximum length of 25 meters. Additionally, it is able to split its eyestalks into multiple branches of variable length and width and merge them together again; splitting results in a sewn X manifesting at the end of each branch. Throughout this process, SCP-1834 maintains perfect vision and is able to keep itself oriented. How its brain is able to compensate for multiple contradicting points of view is unknown. The use of its ability is noiseless and painless; from where the extra mass comes is unknown. No other part of its body possesses the ability.
Every 24 hours at approximately 7:30 PM, SCP-1834 will become convinced of the fact that it is "showtime." SCP-1834 will attempt to stand on top of the nearest table, chair, or other piece of flat elevated furniture; if it is unable to do so because of its arthritis or because of a lack of furniture, it will simply stand in the center of the room. At this point, it will become more lively and begin a performance using its ability. This starts by the formation of simple cursive words, geometric shapes, and the outlines of animals using its eyestalks. As the performance progresses, the shapes become more complex, including full cursive sentences, polyhedra, and life-sized animate imitations of personnel in attendance. Throughout the performance, SCP-1834 exudes copious quantities of trimethylamine2 and talks in a fast-paced banter with the audience, gesturing with its cane and occasionally inquiring their names, favorite animals and foods. When its queries are answered, it attempts to form the shape of said name, animal or food with its eyestalks. It is unable to stop the performance once it has begun until approximately 45 minutes have passed, and often expresses exhaustion and relief when the performance is finished. Outside of performances, SCP-1834 is generally polite, slow-paced and soft-spoken.
SCP-1834 was recovered in ████████, Louisiana. It was living in a wooden shack labeled "PHOTO STUDIO" in what seemed to be a hastily abandoned fairground. SCP-1834 expressed the sentiment that it had been left behind and was waiting for someone to pick it up; it entered containment happily once the promise of food and permanent shelter were made apparent.
SCP-1834 Interview Log
Dr. Ling: SCP-1834, you seem to have no control over your actions while performing. Is that an accurate statement?
SCP-1834: Sir, I don't really know if that's the case. Performing is exhilarating, a grand thing to do, and it makes me feel young again. But when showtime is over and I get off the stage, I'm just a smelly old man with tired bones. Maybe, maybe you're right though. I suppose you could say that I'm out of control when I perform. But only just.
Dr. Ling: When did you start performing?
SCP-1834: That would have been in 19██… yes, that was the year I first saw the man with the upside-down face. Soon after that I joined Mr. Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting. What a wonderful venture. Now, colleagues of mine may have had less than enjoyable experiences in the freak show, but my ride was smooth as silk. Know why? Because I behaved.
Dr. Ling: Did you have your ability before that point?
SCP-1834: Since birth, sir.
Dr. Ling: And the trimethylaminuria — the body odor?
SCP-1834: Yes, sir, that too. I wasn't named Uriel Fishbones for my graveyard gums. (SCP-1834 grins, extending his right eyestalk down to look into his own mouth.) Them I got from Grandpa Earl.
Dr. Ling: But your eyes — when were they sewn shut?
SCP-1834: (chuckling) I don't know what you could mean, sir. My sight is fine.
(Five seconds of silence, during which SCP-1834 retracts his right eyestalk slowly.)
Dr. Ling: …So then, in the end, why do you perform?
SCP-1834: I learned as a boy that it is much better to do what you are told than to go without supper. And I was told that showtime is 7:30 in the evening.