SCP-184-J
rating: +248+x
squirrel1.jpg

SCP-184 prior to containment

Item #: SCP-[The whole number (‘whole’ by the definition provided by the principles of mathematical disambiguation; that is, it is a natural integer, and is not negative) higher than the number 183 and smaller than the number 185, while not possessing any decimals (as it is an integer (again, not negative (Note: This time it isn’t defined by the principles of mathematical disambiguation, but rather by general mathematics))).]184

Object Class: Safe, as is classified under the current classification Safe/Euclid/Keter system, employed by our organization (the SCP Foundation). It should be noted that some opposition against this system has been voiced by several prolific (prolific, in the sense that, many, and I myself would go as far as to say most, of our (again, the SCP Foundation. I do not suggest that ‘our’ refers to myself (I should add that I am an individual), and if I were to refer to myself, I would most likely use the word ‘my’, in context.) personnel are aware of their existence and relevance in our (again, the SCP Foundation) organization) staff members, most notably (although certainly not alone in opinion) Dr. M████████, who has made mention several times, both formally and informally, of the various deficits pertaining to this system, as it is. The most notable discrepancy would be the inconsistency the Safe/Euclid/Keter classification method is applied by our (the SCP Foundation) personnel, and the lack of information that is legitimately conveyed by such labels. For instance, [“DATA” REDACTED]

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-184 is to be contained in (of note, the containment procedures have been formulated by Dr. ███████, and revised in conjunction with Dr. █████ as of ██/██/2013) what is effectively a practically infinite recompilation of circles. Not spheres, I should say, but rather if a circle, in the second dimension, with a diameter of 4 meters, was laid on top of another two-dimensional circle, and this continued until a third-dimension was formed, granting this array length, width, and depth, and the length of this this compilation was, after the 4 meter diameter of said circles, 6 meters. A cylinder. Inside of this cell, a tree has been planted, along with what is known as a traditional herbaceous border, which is one of the larger and grandiose (‘grandiose’, defined as “impressive or magnificent in appearance or style, especially pretentiously so.”) type of feature you could expect to see in large country-house gardens (these are often backed by a yew hedge or high stone wall and packed with summer-flowering perennials, although in the case of the special containment procedures for SCP-184 (for more in-depth analysis of SCP-184’s item number (#), see ‘Item #:’, above.), it is not.).

So as to provide a comfortable chamber for SCP-184 (again, see ‘Item #:’), as is outlined by Dr. Halsey’s article, ‘Cold, Not Cruel’, (issued to all Level 2 personnel and higher (it is also of note, that, as is the S/E/K (Safe/Euclid/Keter) containment system, the Level 1-Level 5 security system in place is also under scrutiny by Dr. M████████, for being too ungranular for legitimate security in our (the SCP Foundation) organization.), per the authorization by O5 Council, as of 06/11/2013), unnecessarily unpleasant conditions have been avoided.

Description: It’s a squirrel that makes you keep talking when it’s nearby. It wasn’t when I wrote this part.

Addendum 184-0001: Researchers affected by SCP-184 are not to attend to documentation of any kind until all symptoms of exposure are completely absent. Holy fuck.

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