Item #: SCP-2088
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The entrance to SCP-2088 is currently owned by the group of interest Marshall, Carter and Dark. Containment procedures are currently dedicated to maintaining consistent observations and assessing the feasibility of an interstellar mission to the facility. Foundation personnel working for United Kingdom-based front companies have business arrangements with Marshall, Carter and Dark to regularly attend SCP-2088 events.
When not possible for a Foundation-backed observer to attend, listening devices are to be placed in the bags of the attendants.
Description: SCP-2088 is a facility located on Pallene, a moon orbiting Saturn. The purpose of this facility is to act as concert hall and general event venue. Its apparent customer base consists of intelligent species residing in the Milky Way galaxy. Patronage is heavily segregated, with separate seating areas for eleven separate races. Each divided area contains its own seats, concessions, view of the stage, and atmosphere.
The entry point for SCP-2088 on Earth is always a MC&D clubhouse. All persons who purchase tickets within the location are instantaneously teleported to SCP-2088 thirty minutes before the start of the event, and returned ten minutes after the event's conclusion. Access is generally limited to 45 individuals at one time, although this is not a fixed number. Events usually occur at least once per month, although there are usually 3 to 5 in a month.
Performances at SCP-2088 have been recorded in length between 25 seconds and 3 weeks.
Although MC&D only owns one section of seats, they appear to have also purchased the naming rights to the arena, as their iconography and logo appear prominently throughout the facility. This branding was how the area was discovered, after Foundation satellite performing a fly-by detected an anomalous feature on Pallene' surface.
Inquiry to MC&D through Foundation front companies revealed details of SCP-2088's existence, and current containment procedures were enacted on 10/18/2002.
Addendum 2088-A: Selected SCP-2088 Observations:
Event Description: Starwatch. Top of the building was rendered transparent, with spotlights pointing out different clusters of stars and describing how they will be destroyed at some point in the future. This concluded with a lengthy description of the eventual heat death of the universe.
Act(s): Brief astronomy lecture, followed by stargazing.
Length: 4 hours.
Notes: Free t-shirt giveaway. Only shirts specific to humans could be recovered. Contained no unusual traits, and had the Marshall, Carter and Dark logo printed on the front.
Event Description: Music. Several groups of entities1 performed music. Several acts did not appear to produce any sound at all, and did not appear on stage at all, but were advertised as distant masses performing with gravity waves instead of sound waves.
Act(s): The only music acts with Earth-compatible translations on the schedule were named Jazz Ragged, Repetitious Mammal, and They're Certainly Dwarves.
Length: 11 hours, 45 minutes.
Notes: English translator of the first band's singer repeatedly said it expressed gratitude for the denizens of the milky way galaxy for coming to the show. Other acts have included references to 'greater-planetary area', 'greater Sol region' and 'collected citizens of the corporations'.
Event Description: Comedy. One performer, who appeared to be composed entirely out of matted, wet, hair. Gave a standup comedy performance describing various aspects of its job as a technician. As the show went on, the entity began shedding hair and began to make mistakes in delivering its jokes. The show ended earlier than schedule when the entity shed its entire form and expired.
Act(s): Standup comedy from 'DAMP'.
Length: 1 hour, 13 minutes.
Notes: Several members of the group were turned away due to having empty body cavities larger than were allowed by the building policy. This is apparently a permanent change as several persons attending other events have been returned for the same reason.
Event Description: Circus. Consisted of a reproduction of the Barnum and Bailey Circus act performed in the United States in the early 20th century. Contained no anomalous phenomenon, although all performers in the show wore MC&D logos on their costumes. In addition, all animals appeared to have the letters 'MC&D' branded into their backs.
Act(s): An animal show, acrobatics, and a clown-produced play.
Length: 5 hours, 30 minutes.
Notes: All concessions being sold at the event consisted of typical carnival fare, such as turkey legs and caramel apples.
Event Description: Fight. A large, translucent creature appearing to be comprised of several hundred gelatinous cubes was placed in a cage containing a brown, trapezoid-shaped entity covered with pulsating spikes. The second entity also had a gold band wrapped around it. These two beings vibrated and bumped into each other, with the creature losing mass as cubes fell off of its body, and this eventually caused it to stop moving.
Act(s): One cage match between 'Cubert' and defending champion 'The Incredible Thing'. When pressed about the naming, the group's translator claimed they had been instructed to make up names when no coherent one could be translated.
Length: 14 hours, 20 minutes.
Event Description: Vehicle Rally. 45 different vehicles, including two hovercraft, gas-powered vehicles, nuclear-powered vehicles, and helium-based vehicles were steered autonomously around a large, reflective track until most of them had been destroyed. Following this, the disparate parts of the vehicles were rebuilt into two large robotic entities resembling canines, which were then made to fight.
Act(s): Crash rally followed by re-scrapping and re-cycling for battle purposes.
Length: 8 hours, 45 minutes.
Notes: Between the acts, there was a brief segment honoring one audience members's participation in the 'Battle for freedoms against those who sit' and encouraging audience members to enlist in their respective race's armed forces.
Addendum 2088-B: On 12/23/2016, a memorandum was sent from persons representing the Marshall, Carter and Dark organization to a branch of S&C Plastics in London. The text of the memorandum has been included in this document.
TO: S&C Plastics Atlantic headquarters.
FROM: MARSHALL, CARTER and DARK Ltd.
RE: Let's start over on this one.
Greetings to the misters and misses of the Overwatch Council,
We at MC&D can't help but to have noticed that your organization seems very keen on regularly attending sessions provided by our event services. We're concerned by your need to be secretive about this. You're not exactly doing the best job at being inconspicuous, you know, and we do appreciate your business. Send a representative of your organization to the pre-agreed location, and we're confident that a mutually beneficial deal can be arranged.
Greg Chamberlain, European Director of MC&D Event Services
A Foundation response is pending.