SCP-2103-J
rating: +74+x
hatbot.gif

An artist's rendition of SCP-2103.

Item #: SCP-2103

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2103 is to be kept in a room measuring roughly 2.4m (8ft) on each side, with a large plexiglass window looking in and a reinforced steel door. A small grille is to be kept on the plexiglass window, with a guard posted outside to ensure SCP-2103 makes no efforts to escape. Only one guard is required, due primarily to the largely nonviolent nature of SCP-2103. No furniture or similar lodgings are required in this room, due to SCP-2103's largely mechanical nature; similarly, it does not appear to require food, drink, or fuel, despite the ability of SCP-2103 to move.

It is suggested for the safety of SCP researchers and staff that at least one class-D personnel or higher-level researcher engage SCP-2103 in conversation for four hours each day at minimum. Failure to schedule said conversation will result in substantial scolding.

Description: SCP-2103 appears to be a largely rectangular mechanoid of roughly 1.2m (4ft) in height, with what appears to be an aircraft turbine embedded in its lower body, and roughly four gas flames beneath. These 'pilot lights' are distributed in a manner which would seem to imply their use in turning and propulsion, but they do not appear to have any impact on the motion or operation of the main body beyond the belief that they 'look cool'. Similarly, while the turbine has been observed to provide some propulsion for this SCP, it does not appear to be required; a similar 'pilot light' occasionally fires from the rear, perhaps triggered by rapid motion. Researchers therefore believe that the means of propulsion for SCP-2103 are some variety of antigravity system.

The SCP's upper half is composed of two segments: first, a blocky upper body of roughly 0.02m3 (1ft3), proposed to contain the majority of its internal workings, and second, a moderate-sized CRT monitor, slightly fuzzy and monochrome, with an apparently-pointless black fedora apparently spot-welded to the top. Manipulator arms extend to either side of the SCP's upper body, one tipped by a simple two-point claw, the other by what appears to be a short-range missile launcher bay, exhausted of ammunition. Finally, SCP-2103 appears to have a hidden speaker somewhere, projected to be contained underneath its hat, for carrying on conversations. In conversation, 2103 speaks in a purely robotic monotone, regardless of the tone of voice used to speak to it.

SCP-2103 appears to crave some manner of contact with a sapient creature. Given the opportunity, SCP-2103 will speak ad infinitum - and occasionally ad nauseam - in a broken, stilted speech pattern, characteristic of prior 'eggdrop'-styled bots. When roughly four hours of conversation are not provided within a twenty-four hour period, SCP-2103 will immediately move to track down and speak with the nearest sapient, using whatever means are at its disposal. The last time this occurred, SCP-2103 began a [DATA REDACTED] never quite the same again. While the SCP has a substantial library of words and phrases, when being spoken with, SCP-2103 will gradually adopt the speech patterns of whoever is talking to it, oftentimes repeating phrases based on what may be an ELIZA-styled algorithm. It is unclear yet whether SCP-2103 is sentient or simply running a linguistics algorithm, though likelihood tends towards the former judging by the statements of conversationalists.

Finally, while SCP-2103 is speaking with a given person, it may occasionally display seemingly random images on its monitor. Reactions by testing staff have ranged from highly amused to visceral horror. For more information regarding conversations with SCP-2103, see also attached document 'Log 2103-A'.


Log 2103-A

The following is a series of conversations recorded with and tests conducted on SCP-2103, including the most noteworthy snippets (when applicable) and the researchers' reactions to them. Due to the nature of 2103, it is highly suggested that researchers keep themselves from revealing information which is either too personal or too strange.

Okay, I'm going to have to put this here so I can make my stance clear. Could you guys PLEASE stop telling SCP-2103 your entire lexicon of sex jokes? And yes, that includes you, Dr. Rights. All these random raunchy phrases are just driving everyone up the wall. And I don't even want to know the punchline involving the water balloon, the nun and the hot potato. -Agent Schism
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Personnel: Agent ██████
Timeframe: One hour
Subject: Political discourse
Result:
Throughout the course of the conversation, Agent ██████ became increasingly agitated, eventually devolving to shouting obscenities at SCP-2103. Agent ██████ appeared to be infuriated primarily by the even and undisturbed manner in which SCP-2103 delivered its responses. Before long, Agent ██████ began to pound on the glass, at which point he was restrained by the guards and escorted out. Later, Agent ██████ claimed sadly, "I really don't know what came over me there."
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Personnel: Doctor ███████
Timeframe: Six hours (with a 15 minute break at the 3 hour mark)
Subject: Shakespeare
Result:
In the interest of further testing, Doctor ███████ began to read, in as 'hammy' a manner as possible, sections from Romeo and Juliet, The Taming of the Shrew, and King Lear, alongside other such works. After some time, SCP-2103 began to [DATA REDACTED] a decent publisher.
Commentary: That was just incredible. I nearly cried. -Agent ████
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Personnel: Security Assistant Break
Timeframe: Twenty minutes, sixteen seconds
Subject: Unlogged
Result:
At twenty minutes, subject became enraged and drew a pistol. With the first shot, the plexiglass window shattered and the bullet was lodged in the faux turbine of SCP-2103, which later required medical attention for purposes of further testing. Subsequent shots lodged in SCP-2103's outer shell and were later deemed unworthy of removal because 'It'd take too long, and besides, they do look cool'. Subject was not disciplined largely because SCP-2103 was judged to be 'taunting them'.
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Personnel: Agent Schism, attending.
Timeframe: Nine hours, twenty minutes, twelve seconds
Subject: You know, I keep looking over this, and can't tell. -Dr. ███ ████████
Result:
SCP-2103 was introduced to an ELIZA-type bot installed on one of the Foundation laptops, paired with a Vocaloid-style linguistic sequencer. The opening phrase was "How are you today?" At roughly 1 hour and 48 minutes, both the bot and SCP-2103 appeared to reach a kind of homeostasis, at which point conversation became increasingly esoteric, centered more about small textual scraps and flower arrangements. At roughly 7 hours, conversation devolved into almost unfathomable blips and scraps of text. At the end of the test, attending staff member complained of a headache.
Commentary: Can we NOT do that again? At least with me holding the computer? Please? -Agent Schism

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