SCP-2305-A Extended Documentation Log
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SCP-2305-A Extended Documentation Log

The following is a collection of brief summaries of instances of SCP-2305-A. Researchers are advised to enter their summaries in the following format:

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid/Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method:

Result of Neutralization Attempt:

"The moral of the story:"


Item #: SCP-055

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Following several failed neutralization attempts by the Antimemetics Division, an attempt to capture a total description of SCP-055 through the use of finite partitions of descriptive space was initiated. The initial coding schema assigned subsets of the continuum of prime numbers to descriptive tags, thus defining a set of descriptive composite numbers. After preliminary experiments, it was discovered that SCP-055 was 35, and thus had the attributes of [DATA LOST] per the schema. The Foundation proceeded to full description, ultimately resulting in a 289,672,521 digit recursively encoded composite number which described SCP-055 perfectly. Upon factorization, this number absorbed SCP-055's anomalous properties. Inductive proofs written during the encoding process led to the rapid propagation of this effect, and [DATA LOST]

Result of Neutralization Attempt: [DATA LOST] destruction of the Quasireals and [DATA LOST] anomalous proof showing that sets with cadinality ℵ1 exist [DATA LOST] has been determined that Enn[DATA LOST] not ano[DATA LOST] and declared the Real Numbers.

"The moral of the story:" Theta prime is only inconsistent in your head.

Item #: SCP-079

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Submerge SCP-079 and all of it's connected hardware in water while active.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: While staff were carrying SCP-079 to the chamber of water SCP-079 realized that it was merely a simulation and began reverse engineering SCP-2305. SCP-2305 activated what it called "The Emergency Ink SCRAMBLE Procedure" before becoming dormant for three hours. SCP-2305 showed information relating to another object and since has not made reference to this incident.

"The moral of the story:" SCP-2305 never reached this section.

Item #: SCP-139

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Incineration of SCP-139.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: Incineration chamber is destroyed, killing personnel tending to the chamber. A humanoid entity (dubbed SCP-139-A) composed of fire and metal pieces appears, with SCP-139 as its head. It claims to be "Sepid the White", a high-ranking Daevite general. Changes are noted in SCP-140, addressing SCP-139-A's revival and the return of the Daevite heralded by SCP-139-A. Activity is detected in Daevite sites worldwide, unleashing entities believed to be the Daevite. Human civilisation in Africa, Europe and Asia is destroyed, replaced with the Renewed Daevite Empire. Humans residing in those regions are enslaved wholesale by the Daevites. A resistance movement called "Rebirth of Adytum" is found in Greece, the Sahara, Northwestern India and the Urals, led by an individual named "Grand Karcist Ion". Humanity is centred in the Holy Pacific Coalition, a dictatorship controlled by the Global Occult Coalition and an escaped SCP-2131. Foundation personnel are actively hunted down by either the Renewed Daevite Empire, Holy Pacific Coalition, or Rebirth of Adytum.

"The moral of the story:" To kill with fire is alright, but remember that a phoenix is born through fire as well.

Item #: SCP-233

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Destruction via an explosive, measured 232 in size capable of outputting 23 tons of TnT.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: After destruction, SCP-233's effect seems to occur within 23.2323° N, 23.2323° W (which has been noted to be off the coast of Western Sahara), which grows at a rate of 23 meters every 23 micro seconds. Human civilization becomes unable to function within ██ seconds.

"The moral of the story:" Math is my least favorite subject.

Item #: SCP-718

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: All SCP-718 instances placed in a single containment cell equipped with several napalm explosives and a sprinkler system filled with napalm. The bombs would explode, clearing the eyes initially, and the sprinkler would spray for 5 hours straight, removing all SCP-718 substance still in containment.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: Upon full neutralization of all SCP-718 instances, every eyeball on Earth transformed into SCP-718 instances, eventually ending in a GH-class dead greenhouse end of the world scenario, where the entirety of Earth's surface becomes covered in SCP-718 instances. The SCP-718 instances would slowly conjoin overtime, eventually turning Earth into a giant eyeball after 5 thousand years.

"The moral of the story:" I'll keep my eye on you.

Item #: SCP-756

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Use several high powered electromagnets to destabilize the sun of SCP-756.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: As a reaction of the sudden loss of a sun, the planets of SCP-756 quickly move in straight paths. The planets easily busts through the walls of the containment room and destroys most of Site-██.

"The moral of the story:" How would you feel if someone did that to you?

Item #: SCP-871

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Complete anti-physical degradation of the area erasing all matter and energy in the area and putting it in a state where none of it can be considered "part" of anything.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: For three weeks no signs of SCP-871 were detected and the site was re-purposed. Several days later staffed noticed that their memories of SCP-871 instances were multiplying and creating an alternate timeline where SCP-871 breached containment and made the earth uninhabitable within all staff's memories and possibly several civilians that had no knowledge of SCP-871. While no physical damages were caused human memories were altered so severely that society could not function.

"The moral of the story:" Remember to eat healthy, Because some D-classes entire lives have been reduced to nothing beyond eating cake. Also heart-attacks and stuff suck.

Item #: SCP-946

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Convince SCP-946-1 and SCP-946-2 that their debates and the reality altering effects it can produce have a net negative effect upon reality. And that for the sake of stability and a more secure universe it is best that they cease.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: After several days a team of twelve debaters successfully convince both entities of this fact. Upon agreeing all anomalous effects of SCP-946 cease. However, a side effect of this is that all previous alterations to reality performed by SCP-946 are undone. This results in the losses of major cornerstones of modern society such as heavier than air flight, fossil fuels, and all plant based sources of Vitamin C. Furthermore major alterations to history and the planet itself are reverted with multiple rivers and lakes, several countries, such as Belgium, Japan and █████████, as well as the Moon and the entire continent of Australia ceasing to exist. Finally, the fall of the Daevite Civilization is undone, resulting in a CK-Class Dominance restructuring of all known civilization.

"The moral of the story:" Change is good. Deal with it.

Item #: SCP-1322

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Send a payload of 1000 miniature tuning forks through the aperture, each tuned to one of the five frequencies that constitute SCP-1012. The resulting instance would reduce the hostile planet on the other side to cosmic vapor, allowing for the safe study and eventual closing of the anomaly itself.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: The massive SCP-1012 instance echoes back through the normally-soundproof aperture. As a result, Earth is also reduced to a dust cloud.

"The moral of the story:" The same thing happened to them when they tried it.

Item #: SCP-1775

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Destruction of SCP-1775 via controlled demolition

Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-1775-X instances break containment, fleeing SCP-1775 shortly after its destruction and attacking nearby Foundation forces. SCP-1775-X prove to be extraordinarily powerful, and the Foundation suffers numerous casualties in their attempt to neutralize them.

"The moral of the story:" Don't fix what ain't broken

Item #: SCP-19091

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Removing all historically valuable items from SCP-1909 and filling it with wet cement.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: Immediately after SCP-1909 is sealed off, the corpse of Alexander the Great (hereafter SCP-1909-A) becomes active, and exhibits Type Green ("Greatest Concern") reality bending capabilities. After escaping confinement, SCP-1909-A produces a hypnotic effect on all citizens of the Hellenic Republic and the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, as well as all human beings with the given name "Alexander" or some variant of it. SCP-1909-A creates widespread global unrest via its actions, and proclaims its desire to conquer the world.

"The moral of the story:" Render unto Caesar…

Item #: SCP-2030

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: On a mass scale all humans will ignore subconscious "deals" SCP-2030-1 makes with them.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: At the time of writing this event is still ongoing.

"The moral of the story:" [PENDING]

Item #: SCP-2123

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Cut all power to the supercollider and destroy the electromagnets with conventional explosives.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-2123 undergoes an excursion event 5 ms before electromagnetic destruction, causing an aborted, incomplete excursion event. Immediate effects include an explosive gamma ray burst from SCP-2131, causing complete destruction of the containment site, but no other casualties are reported. Gamma ray bursts become more prevalent throughout the universe, indicating high levels of matter/antimatter annihilation. Three days later, SCP-736 redirects Iapetus towards Saturn, causing the ejection of Titan towards the Earth. Two weeks later, SCP-2631 enters an active state and emits multiple waves of nanites, but Operation 99-Tripurantaka is successful in disrupting communication with the Kuiper Belt, preventing the release, apparently with 0.1% of the mass involved in the explosions being anti-matter, igniting the upper atmosphere of the Earth in the process of destroying the satellites. Gamma radiation in the upper atmosphere seen to increase. 37 hours later, a relativistic payload enters the inner solar system and, apparently due to the misaligned communications and antimatter collisions, enters the opposite side of Earth's orbit and collides with SCP-2092 instead, vaporizing both. Final communication detected from SCP-2092 states that despite the correct answer, Earth must still wait 2 more millennia. Two months later, SCP-2399 starts repairs at a greatly accelerated level, successfully launching from the Great Red Spot and accelerating towards the Earth. Twelve hours later, extreme levels of gamma ray bursts are detected throughout the Triangulum Galaxy. The launch of SCP-2399 causes SCP-2117 to activate and autonomously engage to intercept. On approach to the Earth, SCP-2399 collides with Titan, and the resulting explosion annihilates 37% of Titan's mass, and diverts the surviving portion into the Moon. SCP-2460 is gravitationally separated from the Earth and collides with the Titan-Moon conglomeration, just as SCP-2117 fires planet-busting weapons at the lunar mass. The Titan-Moon conglomeration undergoes quantum spin annihilation, and the weapons fire passes harmlessly through the lunar mass to impact the Earth, causing its destruction. SCP-319-2 is released, and the universe undergoes energy state reduction, but is reversed by the sudden activation of SCP-2700, causing the universe to remake itself at the Earth.

"The moral of the story:" Everybody hates you. Everybody.

Item #: SCP-2137

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Damaging SCP-2137 in such a way as to render track 7 unplayable

Result of Neutralization Attempt: A double album from Tupac Shakur, titled "██ ████ Can't Fuck With Me" and billed as a compilation of unreleased tracks, is shipped to record stores worldwide for sale on 09/13/20██ from an unidentifiable source. All 25 tracks feature bands and individuals Tupac Shakur never performed with, such as Gorillaz, Talking Heads, Merzbow, and SCP-2143. Every track explicitly details various aspects about the Foundation's history, members, site locations, and procedures, as well as revealing the existence of anomalies and possible methods for creating them. Multiple Foundation resources are put into stopping the production of the double album, as well as destroying all copies, but 15 million copies are sold worldwide in three weeks, and multiple reviews appear in various publications. One month after release, the masquerade is considered lost. Support for the United Nations' Global Occult Coalition is elevated worldwide, and the Foundation loses funding and downsizes its operations by 90%.

"The moral of the story:" You best protect ya neck.

Item #: SCP-2144

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Lock SCP-2144 in a hermetically-sealed container. SCP-2144 expires via asystole.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: On the night after successful neutralization, all personnel involved in neutralization attempt claim to have been visited by an entity known as SCP-2144-1 (referring to itself as "Mel") in their respective dreams. SCP-2144-1 accuses said personnel of murder [of SCP-2144] and that they "will pay dearly". Over the course of the next 9 months, targeted personnel had expired via cyanide poisoning. Instances of SCP-2144 have been found with the corpses of each personnel, albeit these instances appear to be heavily disfigured or malformed.

"The moral of the story:" Don't fuck with mommy.

Item #: SCP-2282

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Euthanize it as it approaches the end of its natural lifespan.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-2282 undergoes sudden spatial distortion upon expiry, its non-Euclidean digestive tract expanding to fill Euclidean space. There are extensive descriptions of the effects of the spatial distortions on the attending doctors, along with a calculation of lost productivity and distraught family members. The smell of 16 million kg of decaying goat entrails is described in detail. A Foundation-wide barbecue is recommended.

"The moral of the story:" Oops, you already tried this. Lol.

Item #: SCP-2513

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Destruction of the bridge via timed C4 explosive charges.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-2513's anomalous effect spreads to every bridge located within the territory of the Republic of Italy. Massive public anti-Carthage hysteria ensues; before the attempted cover-up can be completed, Italy declares war on Tunisia, resulting in widespread geopolitical turmoil.

"The moral of the story:" Et tu, Foundation?

Item #: SCP-2516

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Send SCP-2516-1 (which is still alive) through SCP-2516-2, followed by destruction of SCP-2516-2 via explosives.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: Three months following the destruction of SCP-2516-2, individuals from SCP-2516-1's universe enter baseline reality and begin attacking all civilians sighted. Apparently, SCP-2516-1 informed members of its reality of baseline reality and the Foundation. Due to the Foundation's "illegal" detainment of SCP-2516-1, war is declared on baseline reality. Western Europe is then engulfed by an invasion from the Elohimite Latin Pontiffate, a supra-national political entity in which Taured is apparently a leading member state.

"The moral of the story:" Don't be selfish. Think about the other side.

Item #: SCP-2660

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Destruction at close range with small arms fire.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: At the moment of firing, the bullet used accelerates to approximately 2.5km/s, burying itself in an adjacent cell wall, weakening the containment structure to the point where it subsequently begins to collapse. SCP-2660 is observed to shatter. All persons who were at the time already aware of SCP-2660, including 95% of the personnel at Site-18 and four members of the O5 Council, instantly become singularly focused on SCP-2660 and unable to think of anything else. Mobile Task Forces are deployed to contain the situation, but many agents are unavoidably exposed to knowledge of SCP-2660 in the process and thus become fixated upon its concept. SCP-2660-affected persons who are terminated by uninfected Mobile Task Force operatives are observed to become incorporeal but remain animate. At this point, nearly two hours after the initial neutralization attempt, all knowledge of the ongoing situation begins to exhibit SCP-2660's cognitohazard, and a majority of Foundation leadership become infected. Site-18 is successfully locked in an information quarantine, but the Foundation as a whole suffers heavily from irreparable cognitohazardous infection. Two days later, all knowledge of the SCP Foundation begins to exhibit SCP-2660's infohazard. A massive breach of information occurs shortly after, followed by the complete infection of the human race. The log ends as large numbers of people suddenly become incorporeal.

"The moral of the story:" Sometimes breaking things puts them back together.

Item #: SCP-2707

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Termination of SCP-2707 via injection of hydrogen cyanide, followed by cremation of its carcass.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: No observable side-effects are detected until 20 years following the termination of SCP-2707. A magnitude 8.4 earthquake occurs on Iceland, triggering volcanic activity in the island. Simultaneously, a Category 5 cyclone occurs in the Indonesian Archipelago and devastates the nation of Greater Indonesia. In addition, an unknown venomous liquid is detected in the waters of the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, causing the extinction of over 90% known species of marine animals and plants. About 90% of the world's water is deemed unfit for drinking.

"The moral of the story:" Wars begin when you kill off the messenger.

Item #: SCP-2719

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Foundation AI program would be used to bypass SCP-2719's information restrictions, and attempt to make SCP-2719 become outside.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: AI went inside. Inside confused. SCP-2719 became inside out. AI became inside. SCP-2719 became inside.

"The moral of the story:" What the fuck is this shit

Item #: SCP-2935

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Unknown. The first 10 pages of SCP-2305-A's documentation are blank.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: The phrase "Keller came back" is repeated several hundred times for approximately two dozen pages, each numbered (e.g. "#1: Keller came back", "#2: Keller came back", etc). Each iteration of the phrase is hand-written via pen or pencil. Handwriting is inconsistent between iterations, suggesting each phrase was written down independently of the other (albeit in sequential order) over a substantial period of time.

"The moral of the story:" Don't touch it. Seriously.

Item #: SCP-2950

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Foundation personnel would upload a picture of SCP-2950 in its current form to the internet with the caption "This is nothing. Don't pay any attention to it." at the bottom. The image would become an internet meme, and many people would believe that the chair is nothing, thus demanifesting SCP-2950 completely.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: Image was successful at becoming a popular internet meme, being shared over ████ different websites, each gathering thousands of views. However, shortly after becoming an internet meme, a separate version of the internet meme spawned from the original image which shows a picture of SCP-2950 along with the caption "This is God. Pay all of your attention to me" along with an image of the famous painting "God the Father" by Pieter de Grebber. This image was sufficiently more popular than the original, and on ██/██/████, SCP-2950 transformed into [REDACTED], causing a YK Subjective Reality Reconstruction Scenario of the observable universe.

"The moral of the story:" Seeing is believing.

Item #: SCP-3098

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Detonate explosive charges spaced every two meters on the sides of SCP-3098 and SCP-3098-1

Result of Neutralization Attempt: Objects destroyed. One week later they remanifested, with no change in their anomalous properties

"The moral of the story:" What? They can't all be exciting.

Item #: SCP-3185

Object Class: Euclid

Proposed Neutralization Method: Replace employees in the job positions affected by SCP-3185 with Foundation agents, while forwarding all mail sent to those agents' publicly listed addresses to a specific P.O. Box for collection and destruction.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-3185 ceases to use business letters as the primary way to transmit its anomalous effect. Instead, a humanoid entity (whose appearance subjects are unable to recall) forcibly abducts Foundation agents in the employed positions. When new employees are hired at the positions, they are abducted within one business day and are not returned for two to three months. Even after the Foundation ceases employing agents at the affected companies, the new civilian employees are taken at the same rate. The large number of spontaneous supernatural kidnappings and equally sudden returns causes a Broken Masquerade scenario, and the instability and paranoia surrounding the film companies and the RIAA/MPAA leads to a general crisis in the Hollywood film industry.

"The moral of the story:" Let them do their fucking job.

Item #: SCP-3812

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Administer SCP-3812 anti-psychotic medication in an attempt to curb schizophrenic symptoms.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-3812 admired the attempt to sincerely aid his struggles with mental health and reverted several changes he made to the baseline timeline. The following pages consist of more information on SCP-3812's temporal alterations before briefly describing that a signal of unknown content is received by a researcher assigned to SCP-3812 through unknown means. The document then ends abruptly.

"The moral of the story:" Unknown, The entire section was redacted.

Item #: SCP-3848

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Victims of SCP-3848 are to be given mnesics of the highest non-lethal dosage and are to be re-trained in the forgotten concept. Randomly, and at identical intervals of SCP-3848, lower class mnestics are to be exposed to random multiplicities in the world through tap water, air conditioning, food ,etc. in the attempt to build an immunity to memory loss.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: At first, SCP-3848's antimemetic effect diminishes after several exposures to mnestic affected communities but builds up an immunity to the mnestics and causes irreparable mental and memetic damage to effected communities including high percentages of Foundation personnel. Eventually, SCP-3848 affects up to 99% of the population causing all areas of society to collapse.

"The moral of the story:" Imagine the action of a vaccine not just in terms of how it affects a single body, but also in terms of how it affects the collective body of a community.

Item #: SCP-3906

Object Class: Keter

Proposed Neutralization Method: Have all inhabitants of the Central Visayas region in the Phillipines consume 100 baluts. Administer emergency contraceptives into water and food supply to terminate all pregnancies in the region and use a cover up story about a genetic disease. Any individuals who cannot physically eat should be terminated through chemical injection.

Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-3906's effect expands to the entirety of the Phillipine islands and regions where more than 40% of the population where born on the Phillipines. Due to many regions affected not having specific containment procedures active or lack of a Sinulog-Santo Niño Festival altogether, SCP-3906 renders most of the Philippine population and Phillipine-born individuals to be converted into rock salt, vinegar, siling labuyo, and embryonic ducks.

"The moral of the story:" Don't mess with traditions.

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