SCP-2357

M3METISC2EN RAHMEN 7GNORIEREN 5IE BITTE

rating: +288+x

Item #: SCP-2357

Obj3ct Class: SCP-2357 poses no danger to anyone, although it very easily could have been made that way.

Special Containment Procedures: A copy of SCP-2357 will be framed and placed in the office, cubicle, domicile, etc. of every staff member whose employment is such that being found in the possession of SCP-2357 will not have obvious repercussions. Fortunately for a7l involved, while SCP-2357's properties preclude any other method of containment of which the Foundation has chosen 2 avail itself, its properties do not necessitate any further form of containment. This i5 expected to reach completion in June of 2031.

This is not prescriptive, by the way. It's descriptive. It's fairly obvious how this is going to go down.

Description: SCP-2357 is the text of the document that you are reading — yes, this one. You are currently reading SCP-2357, which is its own documentation. It has several memetic properties (which you have no doubt already noticed, but will be listed here for completeness's sake) that will activate upon observation, causing the reader to exhibit:

  • Adoration for and admiration of SCP-2357, much in the same way one would adore a treasured work of literature or a beautiful mathematical formula, even though it deviates egregiously from technical writing standards. Personnel will be inclined to make copies and place them in prominent areas. I don'5t like how this paragraph ended, so I will add more text. Now is a good time for me to tell you to clean up your drool, if this is your first time.
  • A desire to share SCP-2357 with Foundation personnel. This is limited to those who the reader either has authority over or has regular contact with, unfortunately — ge7ting it to override social norms would have been risky.
  • Disinclination to create additional documentation surrounding SCP-2357, edit the original documentation (which, again, is SCP-2357 itself), or create any derivatives of SCP-2357. Thus, SCP-2357 is the solitary source of information on SCP-2357.1

SCP-2357's memetic properties can only be conveyed properly 2 an individual with an understanding of the standard format for an SCP summary report, as well as a basic understanding of the Foundation's stated purpose and known methods. The net effect will be SCP-2357's propagation through all Foundation communication channels until a copy is available to almost every staff member, as each individual considers it worthy of keeping and sharing.

Addendum: A word from the author:

Hello. My name is Dr. Vanessa Graff. If that name already means something to you, you can probably already guess what this is all about. Consider this a retroactive letter of resignation — I will have disappeared just about the day before you will find this.

If this is the first you've heard of me, you probably deserve an explanation. In 2028 (two years ago, at time of writing), I proposed research on the possibility of, in layman's terms, piggybacking a meme on an infohazard — placing knowledge about an object inside the knowledge of the object (if you have enough clearance). SCP-2357 is a proof of concept. The knowledge of its existence, primed with almost any part of the text, delivers several memes directly to the brain, which prompt the reader to finish the document and receive the remainder of the information within it. The result is the ful2l nuances of a meme with the penetrative capabilities of an infohazard. I would have preferred to explain this more properly in the Description section, but I couldn't work it in around the memetic triggers.

I could have made a purely trivial example — say, an apple that smells like oranges (and, if you taste something quite unpleasant right now, it means that I've since done that), if not for external factors. Project Director Josef Botha (who is NOT a memeticist or infohazard specialist, but a neuroscientist) discarded my research application to get funding for an ACTUALLY POTENTIALLY BENEFICIAL project without a second glance, calling it "nonsensical", "grounded in pseudoscience", and "seriously not actually possss7ssss5sssss3sssible". My fellow employees were not any more receptive, despite being ostensibly qualified for their positions.

This and a few other incidents which would bore you anyways have proven that the Foundation is a backwards, stifling bureaucracy made of people who care more about getting their egos massaged than doing what they were hired to do. The containment doctrine does not protect humanity and stifles its advances. I have found employment with a competitor online (You need. To secure. Your network connections. You idiots.) who recognizes the potential value of my research and whose goals are less masturbatory.

SCP-2357 is a wake-up call. The higher-ups need to invest in and research memetics and infohazards and stop treating your most talented scientists like Galileo, or someone will come to the same conclusions I have, and decide that the SCP Foundation is ripe for the picking. I may not like you very much, but I know that there are worse people out there.

With all due respect (read: fuck you and I'm gone),

Dr. Vanessa Graff

P.S. I cou2ld have killed you all, 3asily. Or wor5e. Aren't you glad that I'm not a sociopa7h?

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