SCP-2647
rating: +21+x

Item #: SCP-2647

Object Class: Euclid (pending Keter)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2647 is impossible to fully contain, but efforts should be particularly focused on blocking online advertisements and encouraging the adoption of digital media over that of newspapers and phonebooks. All analog instances of SCP-2647-A are to be reported and forcibly redacted as inconspicuously as possible.

All discovered SCP-2647-B instances are to be maintained in isolation (see Addendum-2647-1) withheld with non-fatal force, if necessary, and made to call the provided SCP-2647 number to end their policies.

Description: SCP-2647 is a company called “Omega Life Insurance”. Advertisements for the company, designated SCP-2647-A, date back to 1957, first appearing in newspapers and phonebooks, and later online.1 800 numbers given by the advertisements invariably differ in each instance, and are not traceable to any addresses. Furthermore, the addresses provided by SCP-2647-A similarly differ, and do not appear to exist in any maps or directories.

If any sapient being calls the provided number, an automated voice on the other end will give the options of starting, changing, or ending an insurance policy. Policies range from a price of $1000 to $3000 per year, depending on the number of individuals covered, though all include an additional charge simply labeled "expenses".2 Once a call has been made or attempted, the advertisement will soon vanish from its location and be replaced with a new, non-anomalous advertisement. However, the number can be retained if written down beforehand, and will still allow for the user to contact SCP-2647.

Should the option of starting a policy be chosen and purchased, said individual and anyone he or she chooses to include (typically the individual’s immediate family) will become an instance of SCP-2647-B. SCP-2647-B possess and exert the following anomalous attributes:

  • A lack of biological aging beyond thirty years old. Instances above the age of thirty who start a policy will age in reverse over the specific amount of time between their current age and thirty. People who regularly interact with SCP-2647-B will suffer mild or severe premature aging, in proportion to the average amount of time spent interacting with SCP-2647-B.
  • Immunity to life-threatening diseases, both infectious and noninfectious.3 If an instance has such a disease at the time the policy is started, its symptoms will rapidly vanish within three days at most. Otherwise healthy individuals who regularly interact with SCP-2647-B will occasionally suffer fatal diseases associated with the age, genetics or health practices of SCP-2647-B.
  • Probability-defying luck in avoiding or surviving potentially fatal events, such as vehicular crashes, shootouts, and similar occurrences.4 In all cases, certain people who regularly interact with SCP-2647-B instances will experience fatal accidents at roughly the same time as those avoided or survived by SCP-2647-B.

Ending a policy will result in the cancellation of the above anomalous effects. Depending on a number of factors, the following phenomena will result:

  • The policy holder will rapidly and dramatically revert to his or her chronological age, often fatally, especially in the case of those who were already elderly at the time of becoming an SCP-2647-B instance. Non-fatal instances usually claim to find the experience traumatic, and require amnestics. The former instance’s peers will cease to suffer the effects of premature aging, and maintain remarkable health throughout the rest of their lives.
  • Diseases resulting from infection, genetics or poor healthcare incurred while the policy is active will usually (in 86% of all known cases) be suffered by the former SCP-2647-B instance, an experience which usually results in death if not treated. Peers suffering from terminal diseases will experience a rapid recovery if not already dead.
  • Those who avoided or survived life-threatening events while policy holders will suffer one or more accidents soon after ending the policy, which, in 75% of all known cases, will prove fatal in the initial accident. Random peers will experience extremely good luck in avoiding and surviving dangerous events.

As of 2017, 143 separate instances of SCP-2647-B have been apprehended by the Foundation.

Addendum-2647-1: Attempts at isolating SCP-2647-B instances has resulted in their anomalous properties being effected on any available security personnel in disproportionate levels, regardless of interaction. All instances must be forced to cancel their policies by necessity.

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