SCP-2689
rating: +79+x
marlboro.png

Packet of SCP-2689 instances.

Item #: SCP-2689

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-2689 are to be kept inside a cabinet humidor at Site-77.

Description: SCP-2689 is the collective term for eight thousand four hundred (8400) tobacco cigarettes, packaged in boxes containing twenty cigarettes each. Instances of SCP-2689 resemble non-anomalous Marlboro Blend No. 27 cigarettes in terms of appearance and composition. The cigarette packet also appears to be identical, excluding a design inconsistency in the form of a printed message reading:

GURGLING DOWN SHIT? REAL MEN GURGLE DOWN THE SMOOTH, RICH TASTE OF A MARLBORO™ CIGARETTE!

AN UNFILTERED FLAVOR FOR AN UNFILTERED MOUTH.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY MARLBORO™
IN PARTNERSHIP WITH MOTHERS AGAINST MARLBORO™1

SCP-2689's anomalous effects manifest when an individual protrudes their tongue and presses into the cigarette's filter2. The cellulose acetate fiber inside the filter dissolves upon contact with saliva, leading into a spatially anomalous extension of the filter's paper tube. As the tongue enters the tube, it shrinks and deforms to accommodate for the filter's diameter. When the full length of the individual's tongue is inside SCP-2689, stimulation of their genioglossus muscles3 causes the tongue to gain additional mass and extend further into the tube. Conversely, stimulation of their hyoglossus muscles4 gradually reverses these effects, allowing the retraction of the tongue from SCP-2689. During this process, subjects report feeling mild discomfort and the sensation of a "bitter, viscous substance" accumulating around their tongue.

After 15 minutes of continued muscular growth, subjects report feeling their tongue emerging from the tube and making contact with a "slimy, fleshy hole." This is shortly followed by painful sensations of their tongue being crushed or severed by a hard object, though this does not occur all the time. Uncommonly, subjects will instead experience their tongue "falling down" on a surface of variable composition. Samples collected from the subject after these excursions include concrete particles, detritus, and cigar ash.

Addendum 01: All currently contained SCP-2689 instances were initially discovered in a shipment sent to the Phillip Morris USA headquarters in Richmond, Virginia. Multiple middle-aged female subjects were witnessed transporting the shipment into the building's lobby via hand truck. Upon questioning, the subjects described its contents as "unfiltered cigarettes with a flavor you can really suck down on." Retrieval agents seized the package after the object's anomalous properties were discussed in the company's intranet. The female subjects involved in this incident have been unable to be identified.

Addendum 02: On March 8, 2017, a lodger at a Holiday Inn hotel in Kamloops, Canada called the police, reporting a "tentacle" emerging from his cigarette and "deep throating [him.]" Foundation agents embedded in the Kamloops RCMP arrived at the scene and confiscated the offending materials. Analysis of the severed appendage revealed that it belonged to D-7332, who was participating in SCP-2689 testing at the time. Testing has been temporarily suspended in light of this incident.

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