Dr Weppler's Personnel File
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If you've ended up on this page by accessing the document for SCP-2839, sorry to tell you but you've ended up here by mistake. We currently have no idea why this keeps happening, probably IT maintenance bull or something like that, but since there is no current item actually designated as SCP-2839, sorting this problem out is currently low-priority. Sorry about the inconvenience.

- Dr. Weppler

Name: Octavius Weppler

Occupation: Field researcher, member of Cognitohazardous Research Division, Archivist.

Security Clearance Level: 3

Profile: A man equal in value to the amount of pocket change in his possession at any given time, Dr. Weppler's desire to fool lower level Researchers into thinking that random kitchen utensils are anomalous items, and to strike fear into the hearts of teens and adolescents in general have earned him a reputation among staff as a follower of righteousness and disturbing personal habits.

Dr. Weppler's tendency towards extreme behaviour for the sake of mild amusement, has reached the point where no one but himself finds his pranks funny, which is believed to have been his intended goal. While at least somewhat creative, all his pranks lack any amount of surprise or subtlety, and may be foiled by anyone with at least one functioning brain and a fraction of common sense.

Notable pranks include:

  • Filling the staff break rooms fridge and cupboards with █400.00 worth of the popular drink Mountain Dew after complaints of there never being any.
  • Tattooing ‘Dr. O Ctavius' across his right leg and attempting to place similar tattoos onto several other staff members limbs.
  • Scaring a level 1 researcher by convincing her that there in-fact exists such as thing as ‘wereshoes'.

When questioned about his actions, Dr. Weppler will often respond with either ‘Old habits never die' or ‘We all have our ways of relieving stress'.

His relationship with staff in general has been interpreted as being strictly professional, while a few personnel find him to be humorous in his actions, yet all the while giving off the air of a man who couldn't care less about the art of comedy, and more as someone even an entire prison population would wince at. This has been proven to have been caused not by a naturally fearful demeanour, but instead, Dr. Wepplers complete lack of any social aptitude.

Dr. Weppler's work involves the study of cognitohazards 75% of the time, while his personal time is often spent following a number of his hobbies such as angling, hitchhiking, camping, retro gaming (as there is no superior form), yoga, the growing of orange vegetables, collecting amusing pictures of alpacas, and trying to get others to join him in any of the previously mentioned activities, much to their dismay delight dismay.

History: Dr. Weppler joined the Foundation at the age of 27 and gradually became known for his research in cognitohazards, as well as his limited knowledge of mind and reality-altering anomalies. Since his original employment, Dr. Weppler has worked with several cognitohazardous SCPs, and has aided researchers in the containment of SCPs 2958, ████ and ████.

To note, Dr. Weppler's relationship with Level 3 Field researcher Dr. Tonne has been questioned by many staff, as the two are almost complete opposites in personality, interests, and clearance levels at one point, yet the two have been seen talking on a regular basis and on multiple occasions following one another without the other's knowledge. The two have assured staff multiple times that there are totally no further motives to the two's personal relationship, despite how much staff claim that they can 'think of a few'.

Incident Weppler/Tonne-063 (██/██/2013)

Dr. Weppler: And it was only temporary, but they managed to remove the can before it got sent-

Dr. Tonne jumps back, starring at Dr. Weppler with a shocked expression.

Dr. Tonne: Excuse me!? Who the hell are you!?

Dr. Weppler: Phillip, calm down! What's wrong with you!?

Dr. Tonne: Could somebody help me over here!? We've got a situation!

Researchers ██████ and ████████ enter the room appearing severely alarmed, only to relax when they notice Dr. Weppler.

Researcher ██████: Phil come on, you can't keep falling for these, this is just sad.

Dr. Tonne: What? Look, this guy just appeared in front of me! he showed up after I read this!

Dr. Tonne points at a small sheet of paper in his left hand.

Dr. Tonne: I really don't think anyone else should read it, this guy needs to be-

(Researcher ████████ grabs the paper from Dr. Tonne's hand and looks at it for a few seconds before smirking.)

Researcher ████████: Okay, I don't know who to be more disappointed in. Weppler for going through the effort of making and actually printing this damm thing, or you, how many goddamm times are you gonna fall for these?

Dr. Tonne: What!? What are you all talking about!? He appeared out of thin air RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!

Dr. Weppler: I think you're still a bit delirious from last night's party, boy. I think we should get you somewhere nice and quiet.

Dr. Tonne: I-I guess, maybe? I don't know what the hell's going on!

Researcher ██████: Get back to your office and take a rest or something, you need one if you're gonna be this deluded.

Dr. Tonne: I don't think i need a rest! I need some help!

Dr. Weppler: Maybe you're not as sick as i thought you were. This is pretty normal behaviour for you right now.

<END RECORDING>

Since the incident, Dr. Tonne has become noticeably more disturbed when in the presence of Dr. Weppler than usual. Therapeutic intervention was suggested in order to relieve Dr. Tonne of these problems. However, after discussing the matter with Dr. Weppler in private, the two seem to have gotten past this prank and continue to work to the professional standards expected of them as much as they did previously.

Post-conversation excerpt

Dr. Tonne: It's hard to comprehend, though. Honestly I don't really think i'll ever get used to it.

Dr. Weppler: You will, stop getting so anxious. It's best to just go with it, there's nothing that can be done and you're lucky it happened here. If you'd found the document in an alleyway or somewhere else questionable, you'd be dealing with a much less reasonable personality right now.

Dr. Tonne: There's no point in convincing anyone else, I guess. This can at least be seen as a personal project for me to work on.

Dr. Weppler: You've worked here long enough to know they're not all malicious. There's more to their nature then that, it's common knowledge around here.

Dr. Tonne: So, what about your document?

Dr. Weppler: I'll keep a hold of it, you just try and continue behaving as normal.

Dr. Tonne: Heh, not likely. But I'll do me best.

<END RECORDING>

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