SCP-2890
rating: +43+x
Collapsible_top_hat.jpg

SCP-2890

Item #: SCP-2890

Object Class: Safe Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2890 is be stored in a standard storage locker at Site-28.
Amended Procedures: As of ██/██/██, the following measures have been enacted:

Due to the unique nature of SCP-2890's ability to escape containment, and the practical difficulties with creating a containment procedure without a non-zero chance of failure, this procedure is designed around early detection and mitigation of breach incidents, followed by rapid recovery of the artifact.

  • The site security control room is to monitor SCP-2890 at all times via closed circuit camera installed within the containment locker and the duty Containment Specialist is to make a logged physical inspection hourly.
  • The artifact has been fitted with a GPS transponder. An audible alarm will sound in the control room and automatic email alerts will be sent to all relevant personnel if the signal leaves Site-28.
  • A hardened ruggedized laptop has been placed in the containment locker with the artifact and equipped with a dedicated hardline to a monitor in the control room. This system runs and analyzes a Monte Carlo simulation of 10,000 die rolls per minute. In the event that the outcome of this simulation is more than four sigmas from the mean (or if the control room loses contact with the device) an automatic email alert will be sent to all relevant personnel and an audible alarm will sound in the control room.
  • Anomalous animation events fitting SCP-2890's profile have been added to the MTF Mu-4 ("Debuggers") internet watch list to be flagged as a possible containment breach.

In the event that any of these alert mechanisms are triggered, Site-28 is to be locked down (Alert Condition One), and an authorized security officer or researcher is to conduct an immediate physical inspection of the SCP-2890 locker.

In the event of a confirmed breach by SCP-2890, MTF Pi-1 ("City Slickers") is to mobilize and recover the artifact. If it is not located at the GPS coordinates, the search should continue with the public parks, elementary schools, preschools, and day-care centers within 50 km of Site-28 (see Supplement 2890-C) and expand from there, focusing on locations where prepubescent children congregate.

Description: SCP-2890 is a black silk top hat, of a style popular c. 1890. It is slightly worn, but is otherwise appraised to be in good condition. The label reads "Wilson and Sons", a haberdashery in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, that operated from 1879 to 1941. Imaging studies of the object revealed a crown-like object sewn into the lining (see Addendum).

SCP-2890 is capable of animating any inanimate object that is intended to be representational of a humanoid when placed on the object's "head". It has been shown to be able to animate objects that have, at minimum, a defined representational "head". Animated objects are able to move in a human-like fashion, despite lacking joints, or even defined legs (a lower body segment meant to represent legs will provide locomotion). It is unable (or unwilling) to speak even when animating forms with functional vocal cords or playback devices. It cannot directly control living beings, humanoid or otherwise, but does exert a mild suggestive effect on prepubescent children, which appears to be limited to implanting the idea to place the hat on a suitable body and casual acceptance of the animated form.

On █████ ██th ████, during a comprehensive upgrade of Site-28's electrical systems, a combination of simultaneous unrelated errors by personnel and undetected failures of the security systems led to SCP-2890 breaching containment (see supplement 2890-B). Personnel were unaware that breach had occurred for 13 hours and SCP-2890 was able to remain uncontained for over seven years. The artifact was eventually recovered1 on ████████, █th ████, after an extensive search. It is estimated that the odds of this sequence of events happening by random chance alone are less than 1-in-1036. As a result, the object is now believed to possess the ability to manipulate probability, causing unlikely coincidences and accidents that are serendipitous to the artifact's presumed goals. This has been subsequently confirmed by the ██ "near miss" incidents (see supplement 2890-B) which were prevented due to the revised containment procedures.

SCP-2890 was initially located when a group of seven children from Saratoga Springs, New York went missing. When found three weeks later they all claimed that they had been learning to dance from a plush duck toy. The anthropomorphic toy, wearing SCP-2890, was recovered by MTF Iota-10 ("Damn Feds") agents operating as part of the FBI investigation into the possible mass kidnapping. The toy was determined to be non-anomalous and destroyed.

Addenda:

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