SCP-3000-J
rating: +87+x
sarkbite.jpg

A member of the evil Sarkbite™ army tempted by SCP-3000-J™: tasty, yummy Foundation Flakes™.

SnapCracklePop Item #: SCP-3000-J™

Cereal Class: G-r-r-reat!

Special Calcium Procedures: SCP-3000-J™ was previously locked away in the top secret Cereal Containment Facility, because it was deemed too dangerously delicious for the normal public! Now, super secret cereal squad Mobile Taskforce YUM-1™ (“Captains Crunch”) has snuck in, and broke it out so you could taste it now!1 Now, it is to be contained as part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol. This diet is also to include foods high in fiber and vitamins, like SCP-3000-J™! It's part of a complete breakfast!

Nutrition Facts: SCP-3000-J™ is Kellogg's® new Foundation Flakes™! Made with ultra-rich Skippy® Peanut Butter, and Hershey's® Wondertainment™ dark chocolate, as well as USDA Organic cornflakes and rice puffs, SCP-3000-J™ is guaranteed to help you start your day right. SCP-3000-J™ is a heart healthy food, and full of calcium to help your bones grow strong as well as 13 different vitamins and minerals, each one approved by the Kellogg’s® O5 Council™ for your breakfast experience as well as to help you grow up right. One spoonful and you won’t be able to contain the sweet taste of this Sweeter Keter™! Be sure to try Foundation Flakes with new chocolate mint flavor2, or try Kellogg’s® famous Super Coco Pows™ in honey, cinnamon, or fruity flavors! Buy them today!

SCP-3000-J™ was invented by a crazy mad scientist, who combined the tastes of tangy peanut butter, smooth chocolate, sweet frosted flakes, and crispy rice puffs into a concoction so good it warped reality. Kellogg's® sent their special Mobile Taskforce YUM-1™ in to recover the new cereal. They put it deep in secret containment alongside all the monsters they had caught, like Ignatz the Immortal Lizard™, his Japanese friend Shy Sammy the Statue™, and their arch-nemesis Grand Karcist Ion™ of Calcium, leader of the evil Sark-Bites™ and high priest of the Fifth Church of the Broken Spoon. One day, Grand Karcist Ion had broken free and decided to send his Sark-Bite army to encourage unhealthy eating habits in kids all over the world. Emboldened by the delicious and nutritious taste of Foundation Flakes™, The Kellogg's® O5 Council™ allowed Ignatz™ and Shy Sammy™ to join forces with Mobile Taskforce YUM-1™ and Kellogg's® to defeat the Sark-Bite™ army using the power of a healthy breakfast!

Addendum-1: The following interview took place during a showdown between Mobile Taskforce YUM-1™ and Grand Karcist Ion™

<Begin Log █/██/█>

Grand Karcist Ion™: You can't stop me! My Sark-Bite™ army is too powerful! Together, They will help me rule the world!!! Ha Ha Ha !

Ignatz™: Here Ion, try a delicious bowl of Foundation Flakes™. They're delicious AND nutritious!

Grand Karcist Ion™: (Chews a spoonful slowly.) Oh drat, this is really good! I guess I had borne an intolerable force against this scrumptious cereal. Me and my Sark-Bites will go home, but you haven't seen the last of us!

Ignatz™: Silly Ion, nobody can resist the taste of Foundation Flakes™!

Addendum-2: Hey kids, help Ignatz the Immortal Lizard™ find his way through the maze to the party at Alagadda City where he can eat all the Foundation Flakes™ he wants! Better be quick, because mean old Grand Karcist Ion™ will find him and steal his cereal!

MAZE CENSORED: REALLY AWESOME COG-NEATO-HAZARD THAT CAUSES YOU TO CRAVE SCP-3000-J.

Please buy boxes of Foundation Flakes™ at your local supermarket to enjoy fun games and puzzles like this. Also enjoy the continuing adventures of Ignatz™ and YUM-1™ in Kellogg's Presents YUM-1: Secure Contain and Protect, airing Saturday mornings at 8:15 EST on Cartoon Network® or online at www.kelloggsfoundationflakes.com/yum1/comics.3

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