SCP-3385
rating: +4+x
2horserunning.jpg

2 instances of SCP-3385-1 galloping towards the ████████-██-████ Zoo.

Item #: SCP-3385

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: In the event of an SCP-3385 event, MTF-Epsilon-48 (Ghost Riders) is to be immediately dispatched to the affected region. Capture and containment of SCP-3385-1 and -2 instances are to be made a priority, with amnestics to be administered to any civilian witnesses as required.

Instances of SCP-3385-1 are to be housed in Site-66's stables, and SCP-3385-2 instances in reptilian housing cells, and be fed in accordance to non-anomalous members of their species. Interactions between 3385-1 and 3385-2 are to be allowed on a biweekly basis; testing involving either requires SCP-3385/2 clearance.

Due to the cultural spread of it making complete containment impossible, agents are to be embedded within local and global event-planning groups to minimize further exposure to SCP-3385's vector.

Description: SCP-3385 is the designation for a auditory cognitohazard that affects ██% of the Equus ferus caballus1 population. The vector for SCP-3385 is the bridge of Starship's2 "We Built This City". Purely vocal or instrumental covers have been determined to be equally as capable of triggering the effect as the song itself.

When susceptible members (designated as SCP-3385-1) are exposed to SCP-3385, they will immediately cease any prior activity and gallop in a direction dependent on their location. SCP-3385-1 instances in this state exhibit anomalous, significant increases in speed3, strength, and endurance, with most horse tranquilizers being ineffective as a result.

Instances of 3385-1 will halt as soon as they make contact with a member of the genus Dendroapsis4. As the species are commonly native to Sub-Saharan countries, █7% of 3385-1 will instead make their way to any zoos or enclosures that house them in the region.

Once contact is made, any mambas in the vicinity will become instances of SCP-3385-2. As a result of this, they exhibit docility towards 3385-1 instances, which will then proceed to press down on them with their hooves and "play" a variety of melodies on them. SCP-3385-2 instances show no signs of pain or discomfort during this, and instead let out musical tones depending on the hoof's placement. This will continue until the instances are separated.

Discovery Addenda: SCP-3385 came to Foundation attention on 7/4/199█ when █ horses from the ████ ██████ Police Department broke away during an Independence Day parade, after which they headed towards the local zoo and broke into the Reptile House therein, affecting all mambas in the process. Interviews with parade-goers revealed that the horses had "gone into a frenzy" whilst the ████ ██████ marching band was performing a rendition of "We Built This City" during an intermission. Class-B amnestics were administered to all ███ citizens who witnessed the event, and a cover story of the horses becoming agitated as a result of fireworks was put into place.

A collective interview with Starship members involved in the song's production provided little information to ascertain SCP-3385's origin. John Michael Thomas5 was adamant that "it's Marconi", and in the midst of questioning commented to Dennis Lambert "I told you it was supposed to be 'mambo', but you wouldn't [EXPLETIVE] listen", after which an argument between Thomas, Lambert, and the other songwriters ensued. The interview was subsequently terminated, with all parties amnesticized and released. As a result, it's currently hypothesized that the cognitohazard was an unintentional creation on Starship's part.

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