SCP-5432
rating: +87+x
Pie

SCP-5432 with two non-anomalous golden apples used to confirm the strain comprising the object's filling.

Item #: 5432

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5432 is kept frozen in a standard anomalous objects locker in the low temperature containment area of Overwatch Command for the sake of item preservation.

Description: SCP-5432 is a cooked apple pie that was formerly a 102 year-old human male by the name of Herman Fry. Based on residual subatomic ontological1 particle emmisions in SCP-5432, Fry is estimated to have had the highest recorded internal hume level to date at 25 times standard human baseline.

Discovery: SCP-5432 was discovered on 2020/02/10 at 5:32 am following a series of highly anomalous events and a spike in universal hume levels. The sequence consisted of alterations to baseline reality across known existence centered around a point 27 km southwest of Overwatch Command. Further investigation discovered a two room cottage owned by Herman Fry at the sequence's epicenter. Ontological levels reached a maximum of seven times baseline at 6:32 am before reverting to their initial, non-anomalous state. None of the local civilians possess any memory of the events despite drastic alterations to reality made in the area during their duration.

Fry's home was found deserted by responding Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 (Red Right Hand) who discovered SCP-5432 in a rocking chair on the cottage's seaside-facing porch. The team reported the cabin to be "littered with literature from multiple non-existent self-help groups and new age religions" as well as sufficient personal effects to determine Fry's identity2. The oven was left on and preheated to 200 centigrade.

Addendum 5432.1: Discovery Event Log
Note - The following was compiled by both direct witnessing by Foundation personnel during the event sequence and a global mapping of reality fluctuations following its conclusion. Recorded data was utilized to statistically map previous reality states using the Turing-12 supercomputer located within Overwatch Command.

TIME LOCATION EVENT SUMMARY
5:32 am Cottage of Herman Fry Herman Fry's cottage materializes southeast of Helston with its oven preheated at 200 centigrade.
5:48 am The Channel A fleet of 81 civilian-flagged motor yachts appear 5 km off the southern coast of Falmouth. Their appearance is accompanied by the sounds of gunfire emanating from the southeastern seas. The ships sail towards the source of the noise at a speed of 135 knots until they circumnavigate the world and reappear off the northern coast 44 minutes later.
5:54 am Harbour Road Pub, Porthleven The windows of the building all vibrate in harmony to the tune of Slow Boat to China, a song about two individuals taking a solitary and romantic journey to a fictional land. The piece is sung in duet by two voices inherently identified as Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney. No such persons exist within known history.
5:59 am Falmouth Hospital The ground beneath the facility rises due to a sudden tectonic shift until it is 6.3 km above sea level. The brickwork of the building glows with a composite brightness of 1,500,000 lumens.
6:04 am Porthleven Community Graveyard A total of 10,000 Gordon's Gin bottles and 10,000 MG Magnette ZA automobiles fall from the sky and onto the cemetery grounds.
6:06 am Royal Psychiatric Asylum of Cornwall Entering the asylum via its front entrance transports the person to the top and edge of the seaside cliffs at Lizard Point 63 km away.
6:10 am Fistral Beach, Newquay A previously abandoned warehouse is instantaneously decorated with advertisements for 32 different non-existent religions. Examples include "The Process Church of the Final Judgment", "The Church of Scientology", "Buddhism", and "The Church of the Second Hytoth".
6:13 am Bodmin A 1 km tall and 100 m wide hermetically sealed cylindrical prison appears above Bodmin. The structure's interior consists of stacked rows of cells encircling a pillar spanning its height. The pillar's structure resembles a Scranton reality anchor constructed from human remains.
6:18 am Global Event All video monitors across Cornwall play episode nine of a nonexistent television series named "Cosmos" hosted by an entity that self-identifies as "Carl Sagan". The episode discusses multiple hypothetical cosmological structures such as "quasars" and "galaxies". The prison structure above Bodmin evaporates as water vapor.
6:19 am Lizard Point Two unmarked graves, one 25% the size of the other, appear at the cliff edge. The ground around the grave plots collapses into the sea, leaving two stone pillars on the coastline.
6:21 am Universal Event Cornwall vibrates to produce "Slow Boat to China" at a constant volume of 60 decibels. Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney's voices are replaced by one woman and an adolescent of unknown identities. A layer of human placental tissue forms around reality's outer surface, making a embryonic shell 120,000 km in diameter.
6:25 am St. Ives The town is replaced by a massive astronomical observatory taking up its incorporated area. The telescope inside has a maximum magnification factor 1,256 times stronger than necessary for total universal viewing.
6:27 am Truro The populace (19,260) is replaced by identical instances of an unidentified woman approximately 28 years of age. Each is dressed in a wedding gown and holds an ingredient for apple pie. The instances converge on the Cathedral of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Truro. All instances return to their original state, location, and identity following entry.
6:29 am Universal Event The terrain within a 5 km radius of the cottage is transformed into pie crust which rises to cover and consume Fry's home. The figures of one man, one woman, and one child holding hands together decorate the puff-pastry surface. Tears spread across the placental layer encapsulating known reality.
6:32 am Cottage of Herman Fry The pastry crust around Fry's cottage retreats to the front porch. An additional rocking chair materializes on either side of the one already present with one being appropriately sized for a child between 5 and 8 years of age. SCP-5432 appears in the center rocking chair. The cottage's oven is left on and preheated to 200 centigrade.
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