Recovered from the personal log of Dr L██████:
At last, my genius has been recognized! I have been contacted by the Overseers1 to begin work on an SCP of extreme importance. Everything is hush hush, top secret, so I'll be keeping my notes secure here. I'm not even sure which Overseer has assigned me the project, it's that secret. I'll be at Site 4212for the duration, and I have been assured SCP-260 has been handled. I'll write more when I get the time!
Amazing! I have been promoted to Level 43, and put in control of everyone at the Site! I have an enormous crew of D-Class to work with, and, even better, my own SCP. This thing is amazing. You simply [Illegible]4 and then presto! You have a midget version of the target. Or is it dwarf? Whichever one has the big head. And, despite being a pretty good copy of the original, there are differences. The dwarfs(midgets?) are more, well, refined versions of the original. Whatever aspects make a person become even more prevelant, almost to the point of caricature. Copies are rather high strung, doing everything to the utmost they can, with great enthusiasm.
All this has already been proven and dealt with. What I am here for is to test the device on intelligent SCPs and Researchers. Apparently there are some of them they wouldn't mind replacing.5
Testing Log 1
Result: A tiny fox lady, near to bouncing off the walls with energy. Upon initial creation, she jumped on a D-Class, kissed him on the lips, shoved her claws through his nostrils, fondled his crotch, and then bit his throat out. She preceded to massacre the other three D's in the testing room, before gas was applied. The remains were incinerated. Something more stable for the next one.
Testing Log 7
Result: After the previous successes we decided to try a hard one. Mini-076 was an unmitigated disaster. He was created much closer to the original, entering a killing rage upon creation. The decrease in size resulted in an increase in speed, leaving us with something much like a cross between a bouncy ball and a Cuisinart. Mini-076 came close to breaking containment, however at the last moment the real 076 showed up, and took care of it. He rather forcefully made the point that such liberties would not be allowed to happen again. Luckily, my assistant Ryan took responsibility. I'll miss Ryan. Gonna call a halt to it for the day.
Testing Log 8
Subject: Dr. Rights
Result: Having failed rather horribly with the SCPs, I have decided to move on to my fellow researchers. Due in part to a crush I have upon said researcher, Rights was a perfect fit. And I have to say, even at a third the size, she is striking. Mini-Rights expressed interest in SCP-5555, and then proceeded to remove her clothes and seduce me, which I willingly allowed.
Note: And then she hit me in the head with a lamp while I attempted to enjoy the afterglow.
Note: Mini-Rights has breeched containment. Security says they'll bring her back quickly.
Testing Log 9
Subject: Dr. Gears
Result: Mini-Gears is little more then a robot. He reacts to outside stimulus, responding to questions, but seems to show no curiosity, or outward will. A rather large wind up key in his back has no actual use. Mini-gears has been regulated to the incinerator.
Note: Somewhere between the testing lab and the incinerator, Mini-Gears vanished. One of our transports is also missing. Damn it!
Testing Log 10
Subject: Dr. Clef
Result: I told them no, I told them this one we should just leave, but nooo, I gotta try all the important researchers.
Where the FUCK did he get that shotgun from? I'm gonna go see Mini-590 about my legs, and hope Security can take the gun away.
Note: Need new security. Half of them dead or wounded, Mini-Clef nowhere to be found.
Testing Log 11:
Subject: Dr. Glass
Result: … Mini-Glass appears to be a large afro, wrapped in a scarf with a lap coat. Only his eyes are visible, and somehow, within minutes of his appearance, three kittens wormed their way into the testing room. He … he kinda freaks me out, being so cheerful.
Note: Security outside Mini-Glass's cell were found with their stomachs torn out from the inside, as if by something small and furry. Mini-Glass is still at large.
Testing Log 12:
Subject: Dr. Iceberg
Result: A small man in a lab coat, holding a briefcase. Upon creation, he immediately open his briefcase and handed me a sheef of papers, informing me I had to fill them out before progressing. The top sheet was 'Form 518b, A Request To Create New Life Based Upon Old Structures, In An Evironment Unsuited For It,' and the bottom sheet was 'Form 8675309, Being A Total Twit In Publi.' Mini-Iceberg was detained.
Note: This is getting ridiculous. Two security, found lacerated with papercuts, and mini-Iceberg no where to be found. Although he did leave behind a properly filled out form, 'Form 24601, Request To Escape Foundation Custody In An Outlandish Manner.'
Note: That's it! Of course! These miniature versions are caricatures of the real thing! That's why they have clothes, and defining characteristics. I'll have to try this with someone who has an item they always… Bright, yes, that'll do.
Testing Log 13
Subject: Dr. Jack Bright
Result: A miniature orangutan, wearing SCP-963. Attempts to transfer 963 resulted in new wearer becoming a miniature orangutan. Removal of 963 brought back the wearer with no harm done. Mini-Bright remanded into custody.
Note: I am covered in monkey shit. Mini-Bright is at large. This day is over.
Testing Log 14:
Subject: Dr. Kondraki
Result: Decided to try one of the non powered again. Was not expecting this. Mini-Kondraki appears normal, except for the large pair of butterfly wings sprouting from his back, and the camera around his neck. Wings appear non functional.
Note: Saber hidden in camera. That fucker hurts.
Note:Wings are functional. No Mini is allowed access to an open air recess yard from here on out. Almost got him with the search light.
Testing Log 15
Subject: Dr. Palmer
Result: Easier to get along with then Rights, why not try? Resultant miniature appears to be Palmer, but facial recognition incapable due to being blocked by her chest. Dear god, how does she walk with those things?
Note: Mini-Palmer is not to be used as a flotation device.
Note: Or an airbag.
Note: Found guards passed out drunk. Mini-Palmer appears to have drugged them with pill she had.. ahem.. stashed on her person.
Testing Log 16
Subject: Dr. L██████
Result: Don't know why I didn't think of it before! The perfect assistant for me is, of course, my self. Brilliant! Mini-L██████ is a little slow, and appears to have a weird skin rash that causes him to look reptilian, but otherwise perfect! I'm going to have him work on creating some new Minis, while I take a nap. What could go wrong?
Note: Mini-L██████ needed some help in working 5555, and used it upon himself. Mini-Mini-L██████ felt that the workload was too much, and he could use some help. Mini-Mini-Mini-L██████… By the time I got back to the lab there were 32 levels of L██████, each smaller then the next. All were assigned to be terminated, this was a bad idea.
Note: I don't know what happened, and I don't want to know. At least the guards say they used lube. Damnit.
Testing Log 17:
Subject: Kain Pathos Crow
Result: A cute little Labrador puppy in a bow tie. Acting under the supposition that the cuter the miniature, the more deadly they are, Mini-Kain was immediately transferred into a heavy metal box, and the lid sealed.
Note: Mini-Kain somehow managed to piss in both my shoes, while being transferred to the Box. That little fucker… Screw it, we're putting him down.
Note: Attendants assigned to put down Mini-Kain found with lethal injection needles inserted in their eyelids. And pissed on. The damn dog is nowhere to be found.
Testing Log 18
Subject: Dr. Snorlison
Results: I am getting really sick and tired of this. Really. Seriously. This is bullshit, I won't… Fuck it, I'm getting paid. Mini-Snorlison, has a gigantic mustache, and is wrapped in a parka. And, he won't shut up. I don't know how he has time to breathe, he just keeps talking.
Note: 5 hours later. He still won't stop. I want to shoot him, but I just can't.
Note: 8 hours since last note. I just woke up to find myself passed out on the floor of the lab, with a Sharpie mustache. Needless to say, Mini-Snorlison got out.
It's over. I've been removed from working on SCP-5555, and returned to active duty. Everyone else here at Site ██ seems to think I was on vacation, and I'm not going to tell them differently.
See, I think I figured it out. Four 5's wasn't creating these miniatures out of whole cloth. It was pulling them from another world entirely, one where everyone is like them. But it only works one way. What I think happened is one of them got himself stuck here, and used the Foundation, and me, to bring some of his friends across. That's why they all got away, there was already one here looking out for them. How do I know this?
My dismissal orders were signed 'Mini-O5-6.'
I'm going to go lie down and hope maybe SCP-260 will find me before anyone finds out what I've done.7
The files end there
1: There is no record of any Overseer contacting Dr. L██████.
2: Site 421 does not now, and never has existed.
3: No such promotion has been found anywhere in the Foundations records.
4: This section appears to have been altered to illegibility on purpose.
5: While true, no reliable methods have been proposed.
6: These dates correspond to a listed vacation in the Dr.'s schedule. There is no record of anyone authorizing said vacation.
7: If this information is correct, we are at great risk of containment breach, all over the place. These miniatures apparently share memories with the originals, allowing them to know the codes we use, and to know what we would do should we decide to change them. Recapture of any and all Miniatures is of utmost importance, before they get someone competent to work with them. Thank god it was only Dr. L██████.8
8: We're in yer Foundation, cloning yer dudes.
*Audio Log CLF-666, recorded from personal office of Dr. Clef*
Clef: So you want to be my assistant?
Unknown: KILL… kill kill kill.
Clef: Very good. Well, aside from being a miniature clone of me, what are your credentials?
Unknown: MAIM! MURDER! SLAY! DESTROY!
Clef: I see. Well, I'm very impressed. You can start on Monday.
Unknown: DEATH TO THE INFIDELS!
From the personal log of Dr L██████:
It has been brought to my attention that with the passing of the Maxi version of myself, we have no one to work SCP-5555. And the only one with any experience with it, is, well, myself. As such, O5-6 has assigned me the duty of bringing across more of our comrades, and documenting it in the same format as Maxi-L██████. Joy.
Anyways, I have been given an official list to bring across, immediately. O5-6 has requested me to bring over Bijhan (for something secret), Site Director Fat Ghost (to take care of our own SCP site), Pat Gephart (our network is down), Dr. Blast (cause we always need more explosions), and… No, this one can't be right, let me check…
Apparently, Carrion Trooper. For the lulz.
Testing Log 20
Result: Bijhan is a fairly typical looking Arabic man, taller than most at a full 1m (3ft,3in). He wears a black robe and a white turban, wherein he keeps his weaponry. Shortly after his appearance, I noticed I was missing my pen, SCP-5555, and my pants. When confronted, Bijhan was more than glad to return them to me.
Note: How the hell did he manage to walk off with my desk? That thing is three times his size!
Testing Log 21
Note: I don't know, I don't want to know, this issue is closed.
Testing Log 22
Subject: Maxi-Pat Gephart
Result: No indication given that 5555 worked. Attempted it again, only to get a fail message. Will look into it.
Note: Don't worry man, I'm here. But since I'm dealing with these here computers, you all got no reason to see me. I'm gonna stay here, where it's safe. And no, I ain't tellin you where 'here' is.
Result: Blast showed up dressed as usual. A thin layer of black soot covers his skin and clothes, all his hair burned off and his clothes in burnt tatters.
Note: Who authorized giving Blast chewing gum and water? That explosion nearly leveled the play room!
From the personal log of Dr. C███████, 6/30/20██:
Found something really neat today. Big dusty box. With a thing in it: SCP-5555. Renders its input tiny, round, and extreme. This is my chance to prove I'm not useless. Work immediately!
Test Log 01 (6/30/20██, 3:40 PM)
Input: Research Assistant Renfield
Output: Tiny female with blonde pixie cut, one square lens on glasses, and white turtleneck. Output exited SCP-5555, leaned over my notes, picked up my pen to correct them, and was immediately accidentally decapitated by freak fracture of pen nib.
Note: I don't get it.
Test Log 02 (6/30/20██, 4:00 PM)
Input:Senior Researcher Gerald
Output: Tiny red-haired male, dressed in a lab coat, with driving goggles and a very long ascot. Remarkably, Mini-Gerald came with his own vehicle, what appears to be a shriner car. A really simple little thing, battery operated. Mini-Gerald seemed unwilling to talk, and instead drove the vehicle around my lab, making 'Vroom vroom' noises.
Note: As I complied my experience, Mini-Gerald drove out the door, accelerating at speeds I was not aware such vehicles could make. I followed quickly, but lost site of him when he turned the corner into Zeta wing. I heard an explosion, and lost track of the mini during the resulting Keter outbreak.
Test Log 03 (7/02/20██, 4:00 PM)
Input: Dr. Light
Output: Tiny female in lab coat, with a small metal briefcase labeled "Totally not full of samples of infectious diseases". Carried what looked like a helium-filled jellyfish on a string.
Note: Jellyfish balloon was cute, but it sure could sting. Ended today's testing to visit Site infirmary. Must remember to ask cleaning staff how to get smashed medusa out of carpet.
Note: Infirmary was already busy when I arrived. Apparently there have been simultaneous outbreaks of dengue fever, Marburg virus, and smallpox, all within the site, all within the last half-hour. No sign of Mini-Light.
Test Log 04 (7/03/20██, 11:00 AM)
Input: Agent Yoric Elroy
Output: 3-foot-long rattlesnake.
Note: What the fuck? Okay, this has to be a mistake. Got the snake under control, going to try again.
Test Log 05 (7/03/20██, 1:00 PM)
Input: Agent Yoric Elroy
Output: Tiny male in chinos, a waistcoat, horn rim glasses and a cap of some sort. Headgear's precise features impossible to determine, other than the slogan printed on the front: "Hey, Look over There?"
Note: Found myself looking away despite myself. While I was distracted, Mini-Yoric stole my wallet, replaced all the money with photos of his behind, and put it back.
Note: Mini-Yoric began to to critique my technique in handling SCP-5555-J. Three straight hours of this led me to leave the room in tears. When I returned, I found a bucket of SCP-447 placed over the door, when it spilled on me. No sign of Mini-Yoric.
Note: He took the snake too!
Test Log 06 (7/04/20██, 8:30 AM)
Input: Agent Dmitri Strelnikov
Output: Apparently, an animate round fur hat wearing heavy Russian army boots. Object revealed to be a tiny male when it lifted the hat to reveal enough nose and mouth to toss back a shot of vodka. Mini-Strelnikov speaks only in thickly-accented, semi-coherent ramblings, usually threats of harm.
Note: Where Agent Strelnikov despises Chechens, Mini-Strelnikov harbors a deep and murderous rage against chickens. This I learned after Mini-Yoric left me another surprise — a bucket of tar over my door, followed by a large basket of feathers. Turns out that Mini-Strelnikov is actually easier to understand when he's frothing at the mouth and chasing me with disproportionately huge knives, but I wish I hadn't heard what he was promising to do with them.
Test Log 07 (7/04/20██, 12:00 PM)
Input: Dr. King
Output: 412 pounds of apple seeds. I'm going to go have a lie down.
Note: I think something left the lab. A trail of apple seeds led to the compactor.
Test Log 08 (7/05/20██, 3:45 PM)
Input: Agent Karrin "Break"
Output: Tiny Asian female, dressed in an immaculate black dress suit. She immediately headed straight to my coffee maker, where she proceeded to make the best damn cup of espresso I've ever tasted. And my machine doesn't even have an espresso maker!
Note: As I was drinking the coffee, the god damn little bitch shot me in both my knees with a crossbow! Where the hell did she get that from? I need a medic…
Test Log 9 (7/06/20██, 11:20 AM)
Input: Dr. C. “Photosynthetic” Elliott
Output: 3-foot-tall mound of plant matter, which upon prodding resolved into several dozen potted plants being carried by a tiny female in a green lab coat. Soon after touching the plants, I felt dizzy, and locked Mini-Photosynthetic in while I visited the Site infirmary. Again.
Note: Returned to my lab to find it completely swamped in plant growth. The things are toxic, and they bite. No sign of Mini-Photosynthetic.
Test Log 10 (7/07/20██, 12:00 PM)
Input: Dr Everett Mann
Output: Tiny male in a labcoat, with a gigantic mustache. The damned thing is almost tentacle like. And, for some reason, he has what appears to be a mind wiped Mini-D-class on a chain.
Note: Mini-Mann has been quite helpful in showing me how to really use the device. Apparently it even has a portable handle, makes this much easier!
Test Log 11 (7/07/20██, 1:00 PM)
Input: The disassembled pieces of Hatbot
Output: A rather smaller version of the robot in question, really cute, actually. Reminds me of one of those old cartoon robots, with the square heads. And, even funnier, it speaks entirely in Lolcat!
Note: Upon introducing Mini-Hatbot to Mini-Mann, M-H declared 'I can Haz your death?' drew a butcher knife from somewhere, and chased MM out of the room. Damn those buggers move fast. What the hell is going on?
Test Log 11 (7/07/20██, 5:00 PM)
Input: Agents Dodridge and Lament
Output: Making use of the new found portable aspect of SCP-5555-J, I was able to snag both agents at once! The results were… interesting. Both minis showed an increase in melanin to their skin, as well as a lightening of their hair, which seemed to be in permanent spikes. I will also note their collars absolutely refused to lay down.
Note: The two minis, after a long conversation, declared me to be a 'bro' and produced a mini-keg from somewhere, encouraging me to drink. These are some of the greatest people I have ever met, Mini or no.
Note: I woke up in a bathtub filled with ice. And dicks drawn on my face. I don't feel so good…
Note: The little bastards took BOTH my kidneys!
Test Log 12 (7/09/20██, 9:00 AM)
Output: Tiny male Frankenstein's monster, minus the bolts. Chatted about politics for about ninety seconds, then whipped out a scalpel and went for my kidneys. I'm not sure whether or not to be glad that they were already missing.
Test Log 13 (7/09/20██, 11:30 AM)
Input: Myself (Dr. C███████)
Output: Tiny male carrying tiny Lego models of seventeen different SCP objects. He immediately stuck the tiny Lego 320 to the tiny Lego 682. When I came to, my lab was in shambles, but Mini-me was still there — scorched, sooty, and dazed, but grinning.
Note: I'm not sure whether to write down every word he says or lock him in a closet forever.
Test Log 14 (7/10/20██, 10:45 AM)
Input: Five instances of SCP-2558-J ("Sprinkles", "Marshmallow", "Mr. Tubbs", "Sparky", and "Lord Fluffykins")
Output: Indistinguishable from input except that they mew in Japanese.
Note: I don't even know how that's possible.
Test Log 15 (7/10/20██, 11:50 AM)
Input: Five instances of SCP-2558-J ("Sprinkles", "Marshmallow", "Mr. Tubbs", "Sparky", and "Lord Fluffykins")
Output: Tiny, adorable [DATA EXPUNGED] oh my God, I have never seen anything so precious in my life [DATA EXPUNGED] who's a sweetie little tubby-wubs, yes you are! [DATA EXPUNGED]
Note: I was lucky to escape with my life and faculties intact. Mini-C███████ was not so lucky. He will be missed.
Test Log 16 (7/11/20██, 9:00 AM)
Output: Tiny concrete statue, closely resembling input in vague outline. Paint colors also similar, but arranged such that Mini-173 appears to be wearing makeup. Object is also, inexplicably, wearing glow-sticks and a tall striped top hat.
Note: Accidentally blinked. Mini-173 tried to strangle my penis. I quit.