Recovered from the personal log of Dr L██████:
At last, my genius has been recognized! I have been contacted by the Overseers1 to begin work on an SCP of extreme importance. Everything is hush hush, top secret, so I'll be keeping my notes secure here. I'm not even sure which Overseer has assigned me the project, it's that secret. I'll be at Site 4212 for the duration, and I have been assured SCP-260 has been handled. I'll write more when I get the time!
Amazing! I have been promoted to Level 43, and put in control of everyone at the Site! I have an enormous crew of D-Class to work with, and, even better, my own SCP. This thing is amazing. You simply [ILLEGIBLE]4 and then presto! You have a midget version of the target. Or is it dwarf? Whichever one has the big head. And, despite being a pretty good copy of the original, there are differences. The dwarfs(midgets?) are more, well, refined versions of the original. Whatever aspects make a person become even more prevalent, almost to the point of caricature. Copies are rather high strung, doing everything to the utmost they can, with great enthusiasm.
All this has already been proven and dealt with. What I am here for is to test the device on intelligent SCPs and Researchers. Apparently there are some of them they wouldn't mind replacing.5
Testing Log 1
Result: A tiny fox lady, near to bouncing off the walls with energy. Upon initial creation, she jumped on a D-Class, kissed him on the lips, shoved her claws through his nostrils, fondled his crotch, and then bit his throat out. She proceeded to massacre the other three D's in the testing room, before gas was applied. The remains were incinerated. Something more stable for the next one.
Testing Log 7
Result: After the previous successes we decided to try a hard one. Mini-076 was an unmitigated disaster. He was created much closer to the original, entering a killing rage upon creation. The decrease in size resulted in an increase in speed, leaving us with something much like a cross between a bouncy ball and a Cuisinart. Mini-076 came close to breaking containment, however at the last moment the real 076 showed up, and took care of it. He rather forcefully made the point that such liberties would not be allowed to happen again. Luckily, my assistant Ryan took responsibility. I'll miss Ryan. Gonna call a halt to it for the day.
Testing Log 8
Subject: Dr. Rights
Result: Having failed rather horribly with the SCPs, I have decided to move on to my fellow researchers. Due in part to a crush I have upon said researcher, Rights was a perfect fit. And I have to say, even at a third the size, she is striking. Mini-Rights expressed interest in SCP-5555, and then proceeded to remove her clothes and seduce me, which I willingly allowed.
Note: And then she hit me in the head with a lamp while I attempted to enjoy the afterglow.
Note: Mini-Rights has breached containment. Security says they'll bring her back quickly.
Testing Log 9
Subject: Dr. Gears
Result: Mini-Gears is little more than a robot. He reacts to outside stimulus, responding to questions, but seems to show no curiosity, or outward will. A rather large wind up key in his back has no actual use. Mini-gears has been relegated to the incinerator.
Note: Somewhere between the testing lab and the incinerator, Mini-Gears vanished. One of our transports is also missing. Damn it!
Testing Log 10
Subject: Dr. Clef
Result: I told them no, I told them this one we should just leave, but nooo, I gotta try all the important researchers.
Where the FUCK did he get that shotgun from? I'm gonna go see Mini-590 about my legs, and hope Security can take the gun away.
Note: Need new security. Half of them dead or wounded, Mini-Clef nowhere to be found.
Testing Log 11:
Subject: Dr. Glass
Result: … Mini-Glass appears to be a large afro, wrapped in a scarf with a lap coat. Only his eyes are visible, and somehow, within minutes of his appearance, three kittens wormed their way into the testing room. He … he kinda freaks me out, being so cheerful.
Note: Security outside Mini-Glass's cell were found with their stomachs torn out from the inside, as if by something small and furry. Mini-Glass is still at large.
Testing Log 12:
Subject: Dr. Iceberg
Result: A small man in a lab coat, holding a briefcase. Upon creation, he immediately opened his briefcase and handed me a sheaf of papers, informing me I had to fill them out before progressing. The top sheet was 'Form 518b, A Request To Create New Life Based Upon Old Structures, In An Environment Unsuited For It,' and the bottom sheet was 'Form 8675309, Being A Total Twit In Public.' Mini-Iceberg was detained.
Note: This is getting ridiculous. Two security, found lacerated with paper cuts, and mini-Iceberg no where to be found. Although he did leave behind a properly filled out form, 'Form 24601, Request To Escape Foundation Custody In An Outlandish Manner.'
Note: That's it! Of course! These miniature versions are caricatures of the real thing! That's why they have clothes, and defining characteristics. I'll have to try this with someone who has an item they always… Bright, yes, that'll do.
Testing Log 13
Subject: Dr. Jack Bright
Result: A miniature orangutan, wearing SCP-963. Attempts to transfer 963 resulted in new wearer becoming a miniature orangutan. Removal of 963 brought back the wearer with no harm done. Mini-Bright remanded into custody.
Note: I am covered in monkey shit. Mini-Bright is at large. This day is over.
Testing Log 14:
Subject: Dr. Kondraki
Result: Decided to try one of the non powered again. Was not expecting this. Mini-Kondraki appears normal, except for the large pair of butterfly wings sprouting from his back, and the camera around his neck. Wings appear non functional.
Note: Saber hidden in camera. That fucker hurts.
Note:Wings are functional. No Mini is allowed access to an open air recess yard from here on out. Almost got him with the search light.
Testing Log 15
Subject: Dr. Palmer
Result: Easier to get along with than Rights, why not try? Resultant miniature appears to be Palmer, but facial recognition incapable due to being blocked by her chest. Dear god, how does she walk with those things?
Note: Mini-Palmer is not to be used as a flotation device.
Note: Or an airbag.
Note: Found guards passed out drunk. Mini-Palmer appears to have drugged them with pill she had.. ahem.. stashed on her person.
Testing Log 16
Subject: Dr. L██████
Result: Don't know why I didn't think of it before! The perfect assistant for me is, of course, my self. Brilliant! Mini-L██████ is a little slow, and appears to have a weird skin rash that causes him to look reptilian, but otherwise perfect! I'm going to have him work on creating some new Minis, while I take a nap. What could go wrong?
Note: Mini-L██████ needed some help in working 5555, and used it upon himself. Mini-Mini-L██████ felt that the workload was too much, and he could use some help. Mini-Mini-Mini-L██████… By the time I got back to the lab there were 32 levels of L██████, each smaller than the next. All were assigned to be terminated, this was a bad idea.
Note: I don't know what happened, and I don't want to know. At least the guards say they used lube. Damnit.
Testing Log 17:
Subject: Kain Pathos Crow
Result: A cute little Labrador puppy in a bow tie. Acting under the supposition that the cuter the miniature, the more deadly they are, Mini-Kain was immediately transferred into a heavy metal box, and the lid sealed.
Note: Mini-Kain somehow managed to piss in both my shoes, while being transferred to the Box. That little fucker… Screw it, we're putting him down.
Note: Attendants assigned to put down Mini-Kain found with lethal injection needles inserted in their eyelids. And pissed on. The damn dog is nowhere to be found.
Testing Log 18
Subject: Dr. Snorlison
Results: I am getting really sick and tired of this. Really. Seriously. This is bullshit, I won't… Fuck it, I'm getting paid. Mini-Snorlison, has a gigantic mustache, and is wrapped in a parka. And, he won't shut up. I don't know how he has time to breathe, he just keeps talking.
Note: 5 hours later. He still won't stop. I want to shoot him, but I just can't.
Note: 8 hours since last note. I just woke up to find myself passed out on the floor of the lab, with a Sharpie mustache. Needless to say, Mini-Snorlison got out.
It's over. I've been removed from working on SCP-5555, and returned to active duty. Everyone else here at Site ██ seems to think I was on vacation, and I'm not going to tell them differently.
See, I think I figured it out. Four 5's wasn't creating these miniatures out of whole cloth. It was pulling them from another world entirely, one where everyone is like them. But it only works one way. What I think happened is one of them got himself stuck here, and used the Foundation, and me, to bring some of his friends across. That's why they all got away, there was already one here looking out for them. How do I know this?
My dismissal orders were signed 'Mini-O5-6.'
The files end there
*Audio Log CLF-666, recorded from personal office of Dr. Clef*
Clef: So you want to be my assistant?
Unknown: KILL… kill kill kill.
Clef: Very good. Well, aside from being a miniature clone of me, what are your credentials?
Unknown: MAIM! MURDER! SLAY! DESTROY!
Clef: I see. Well, I'm very impressed. You can start on Monday.
Unknown: DEATH TO THE INFIDELS!