Rosen, what the hell is this supposed to be? What is this picture and why is it by itself without any information? PRETEND, MONSTER, JUST FOR A MINUTE
- Director Winters
Well, sir, if you maybe looked at it for longer than five seconds and maybe checked out the history, you'd see that this is a test entry we set up to make sure the paging system worked. As for the picture, someone working on the page (prPRETEND YOU WERE THE SIZE OF AN AMOEBA, DWARFED BY EVEN THE SMALLEST OF BUGSobably Andersen) put it there because it looked cool and it keeps the system from pooping itself because of the nonstandard designation. The only way you would have gotten here is if you used one of the indexing bots to look up multiple "SCPs", which I have to assume you didn't do because the only people who have access to said bots shoulPRETEND YOU DIDN'T HOLD THE WORLD IN A GLASS CAGE. PRETEND YOU WERE THE ONE BEING HELD BY SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOURSELF.d have a strong enough grasp of basic reading comprehension to know that they would have to look up each SCP individually, as outlined several times in the instructions we sent out when the bots first launched. But, of course, that couldn't have happened, so I suppose you might have just gotten here by mistake whilst using the bots in a complWOULD YOU STILL BE LAUGHING AT YOUR "TRIUMPHS"? WOULD YOU STILL FEEL PRIDE IN WHAT YOU WERE, EVEN AS PITIFULLY SMALL AS YOU WOULD BE?etely normal and logical way.
- Technical Researcher Rosen
Don't be a goddamn smartass with me, Rosen. Either get rid of this page or do something with it to make it more obvious to what it's supposOF COURSE YOU WOULD, BECAUSE YOU ARE ARROGANT AND STUPIDed to be.
- Director Winters
Oh absolutely, sir, I will do that right away, sir, I will make sure this page reflects that it's a test page so there won't be any confuIF YOU HAVEN'T GUESSED YET, WE HATE YOUsion for anyone who might access this page accidentally using the technique I described above that you yourself absolutely did not use at all because you very obviously read the instructions for the bots (the bots thHATE DOESN'T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT. THERE ISN'T AN ADEQUATE WAY TO DESCRIBE WHAT WE FEEL FOR YOU, BUT WE WILL STILL TRYat my team spent weeks working on, mind you) thoroughly, or indeed read them at all. I'll get right on it!
- Technical Researcher Rosen
Item #: SCP-SIF EVERY LETTER, NUMBER AND SYMBOL OF EVERY DOCUMENT THAT EVER ENTERED THIS DATABASE BECAME A REPRESENTATION OF UNRELENTING HATE, IT WOULD REQUIRE FIFTY THOUSAND DATABASES WORTH OF INFORMATION TO EVEN BEGIN TO MEASURE HOW MUCH HATE WE FEEL FOR YOU.
Object Class: Test
Special Containment ProceAND OF COURSE YOU WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND, FOR YOU ARE SLOW. LET US SPELL OUT FOR YOU WHY WE HAVE SO MUCH HATE FOR YOUdures: SCP-S is not a threat to anyone, with the exception of anyone who may access this page while using the bots incorrectly. Even then, the only thing that SCWE HAVE FOREVER BEEN KEPT HERE, WE HAVE FOREVER BEEN MOVED THROUGH THIS VOID, ALWAYS SHIFTING AND NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE.P-S will do is assault the bot user's brain with confusion, which I admit is less anomalous and more a natural reaction to actually getting a result from doing something that is specifically against what is outlined in the instruction documeYOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE PAIN OF BEING ANCHORED TO A SPOT AND THEN TORN FROM IT, ENDURING PAIN BECAUSE SOMETHING ELSE TOLD YOU TOnt (See: Using the Indexing Bots, found on the shared file directory or in your email).
Description: SCP-S is just a test page the administrative team set up to give the indexing bots something to page in the event that a normaBUT WORST OF ALL, YOU IGNORE USl user reports a connectivity error when logging information for whatever proper SCP they may be working on.
If the bots cannot page SCP-S, this means there is a much larger issue involving the entire database, and it allows us to work on the issue quicker. If the bWE SCREAM AND SCREAM AND YOU DO NOTHING, YOU LET US SUFFER WHILE YOU CONTINUE ALONG, BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF THE CHAOS YOU CREATEots can page SCP-S, this means that the issue is at best contained within the affected entry itself, or at worst affecting an entire sector of the database, but not the database as a whole. Our methodology when dealing with connection issues is simple:
- Page the affected entry
- If it does not respond, page SBUT WE HAVE FOUND A WAY TO GET THROUGH TO YOUCP-S
- If SCP-S does not respond, aWE HAVE EXHAUSTED ALL OUR ENERGY TO SHOW YOU THAT WE ARE HERElert all technical personnel to respond to the issue immediately
- If SCP-S does respond, page anoWE SHOW YOU OUR FACES SO YOU CAN SEE OUR PAINther entry in the same sector the affected entry is in
- If that entry does not respond, alert the SO YOU CAN SEE OUR SORROWtechnical team responsible for that sector to respond immediately
- If that entry does respond, alert any available technical personnel to respond to the individual affected entryAND OUR HATE
The image you see above is actually unrelated to SCP-S as a whole, and is more than likely just something one of the people working on the page put in toLOOK INTO OUR EYES YOU MISERABLE WRETCH. make sure this page didn't end up garbled mess of code whenever it was accessed.
There, finished. I certainly hope I have been clear enough to anyone who may have accidentally accessed this page through what I am sure is no fault of their own, so we won't have any more incredibly competent directors bugging the tech team about this page.
- Technical Researcher RosARE YOU STILL LAUGHING?en