SCPun-1337 - Attila's Author Page
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AttilaThePun.jpg

Artistic depiction of SCPun-1337. Artist unknown.

Item #: SCPun-1337

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCPun-1337 is to be held in a low-risk humanoid containment cell. In the event that it becomes violent, SCPun-1337 is to be subdued by site security using cringe comedy. Bouts of rage and threats to Foundation personnel are to be ignored.

Description: SCPun-1337 is a humanoid entity self-identified as "Attila The Pun (sic)". While SCPun-1337's appearance is consistent with descriptions of Attila the Hun1, genetic analysis suggests SCPun-1337 is of predominantly Irish descent. Further confusing the matter, the entity primarily communicates in English with a heavy accent, but has been observed to speak fluent Serbian, Scots Gaelic, Comanche, Neo-Aramaic, and Pig Latin when enraged.

While it displays some elements of incorporeality, SCPun-1337 is fully capable of interacting with inanimate objects under most circumstances. Unable to be damaged through traditional means, SCPun-1337 appears to be physically harmed by "poor comedy". This includes explaining a punchline, repeating a joke several times with no modifications, use of poor timing, and other situations breaking common rules of comedy. Attempts to use this as a means of motivation have been inconsistent.

SCPun-1337 claims to be the leader of a nation called the Puns. While the entity's descriptions of this nation have been inconsistent, it is believed to be extradimensional in nature. The entity claims to have successfully led military campaigns against many other nations - typically with names associated with types of comedy, such as the Kingdom of Irony, Slapstigoth tribes, and Deadpan Empire - until it had conquered the vast majority of its home world. The entity then attempted to lead another campaign against Earth through unknown means, ending in a disastrous defeat. SCPun-1337 now believes itself to be a prisoner of war, and has continually made demands and attempts to return to its home dimension.

Addendum 1337-1 - SCPs: SCPun-1337 has displayed extensive knowledge of multiple SCP objects and events kept on file. It is not known how SCPun-1337 had access to this information.

DESIGNATION TITLE DATE POSTED COMMENTS
SCP-2801 All Your Brains Are Belong To Us 2018/12/20 "It is said that my grandfather had the power to control the mind. He used this power to force his subjects to mine large amounts of precious minerals from the earth. However, his mining with minds was ended when he fell into an irony mine and broke his spine. What a shame."
SCP-3631 A Man and his Monster 2019/01/02 "How can you let such a beast torment one of your own? In my country, we would kill such monsters with our bare hands for harming one of our people! They are much better eating than they may seem, too. Very tasty when cooked well."

Addendum 1337-2 - Tales:

TITLE DATE POSTED COMMENTS
To Run Forever 2018/09/04 "Fighting for honor, I understand. Fighting for glory, I understand. But fighting for a spicy spectre's drunken whims?! Utter foolishness!"
Puppets And Their Masters 2018/09/19 "Again with the phantom. When will you learn that fighting for spirits is folly, no matter how tasty they may be?"

Addendum 1337-3 - ICE:

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