This is the twenty-third time I'm doing it. I log into the system (which, thankfully, isn't sentient) and once again get into my personal log. This is the twenty-third different report of my death they've submitted; I make it a point to delete them every single day so they don't lock me out of the system, and they still keep coming.
Oh joy. Today's news: "Researcher ████ was killed by SCP-████ during a containment breach on ██/██/████ when it [DATA EXPUNGED] causing the deaths of five security staff and two research personnel in total. Researcher ████ was discovered in the process of consumption by SCP-████, and his corpse was destroyed to prevent the spread of SCP-████-2."
Another day, another skip. You think you're clever, don't you? Well, you're not. That's right, I'm talking to you, Mr. Skippy, you blasted piece of shit. Oh, they think you're a toy gun that transports people into the past and kills them? Well fuck me, you're not, sly bugger. Oh, no.
Object Class: Euclid Neutralised
Description: SCP-████ is a violet-coloured toy gun, designed to otherwise resemble a Beretta 92 9mm handgun. It appears to have been designed to fire foam darts, and is marked with the logo of the organisation A.N.G.E.L. The organisation has been confirmed to be a purely fictional international military force from the ████████ series of young adult adventure novels, dealing with cases of time travel and continuity errors.
The object's primary anomalous effect manifests when its trigger is pulled while it is held by a human hand and pointed at a human subject; upon this occurring SCP-████ will emit a flash of white light. The target will appear to fly backwards for a short period of time, then disappear from view and be transported into a lethal event in the past 24 hours, resulting in its death. The object's anomalous effect appears to be unable to influence causality of future events; how it achieves this is uncertain. However, the circumstances of the subject's death invariably change every 24 hours, providing a plausible explanation for the maintenance of temporal continuity.
You're an asshole, Skippy. I don't know who made you, but when I find him/her/it I'm going to shoot that person with you, and then kill him/her/it off for real. Who knows, maybe I'll be credited for that good deed. Heaven knows my karma sucks.
I leave the room, having done my first job for the day. I've removed the records of my death once again, and now I'm off to do the other part of my job. I keep a gun on hand at all times now. Not a crappy one like you, but a real gun, an actual honest-to-goodness .45. Pay close attention, Skippy, because this is fucking important. I've discovered that nobody can see or hear these D's, whether they're dead or alive; I've been into the labs, and some of the anti-SCP-████-A nets still have dead, rotting D's in them. And what's the first thing a free, invisible, nearly-invulnerable murderer would do? Kill people.
The object's secondary anomalous effect, SCP-████-A, begins to manifest shortly after its primary effect has occurred; the duration between the disappearance of the subject and the manifestation of an instance of SCP-████-A appears to roughly be negatively correlated to the subject's previous IQ level. SCP-████-A is theorised to be an entity of indeterminate nature. All attempts to communicate with or capture audiovisual evidence of the entity have failed, but the nature of its physical interactions with its surroundings indicates that it is able to interact with physical objects and people.
The first recorded instance of SCP-████-A was when a member of security staff outside the testing chamber reported a slight nudge, described as resembling having been accidentally brushed against several minutes after subject D-████-15 was "shot" with SCP-████. Attempts to track or capture SCP-████-A entities have uniformly failed; tracking or imaging devices attached to D-Class subjects cease transmission as expected and are to be presumed destroyed, and capture attempts using electrified nets have produced no results apart from a slight increase in mass of the net. It is important to note that instances of SCP-████-A will always manifest outside the testing chamber for SCP-████.
I make it my duty to get rid of the ones that got away before they kill someone else. Mysterious deaths aren't uncommon around here; everyone chalks them up to something or other, no matter how ludicrous. I even saw a memo a month ago about a "neck-breaking flu" going around on site that supposedly made people sneeze hard enough to snap their necks; containment involved wearing a mask and avoiding contact with a skip I'm sure was innocent—
Hey, Skippy! There's one of your little fucking invisible men, right outside Dr. █████'s office, and he has no clue that I can see him. Bang, bang, and he's dead. Nobody hears the gunshots, and everyone just steps around his corpse unconsciously; it's a thing you apparently make them do. I step over and drag his corpse away, making sure not to bump into anyone. I'll put it in the kitchen dumpster later, where it'll be incinerated with the rest of the day's trash.
That bastard looked like he was enjoying himself a little too much.
Memo to Staff, Break Room Site-██, ██/██/████: We understand that members of staff at Site-██ have reported incidents of seemingly human bodily fluids and waste appearing in seemingly random locations, and occasionally being deposited on them without warning. Analysis of these substances has produced constant experimental errors precluding the accurate determination of results. Any security or research staff encountering the anomalous object(s) responsible for this are to attempt to contain, or if unable to do so terminate, them; the bodily fluids and waste of these anomalous objects are potential biohazard transmission vectors. - Head of Security, ████████
Great, Skippy, look what you've made me do. There's blood everywhere, and everyone's just stepping in it like it's nothing. I'll be the only one who can see the stuff, at least for a couple of hours. Ugh. When I was a researcher I never had to deal with dead D's; they'd always get a cleanup crew to remove the corpses. Now I'm judge, jury, executioner and janitor, complete with shit-handling duties. Have I mentioned how much I hate you?
Yeah, you suck. You've killed at least 17 people, and those are just the deaths with ridiculous explanations. How does that feel? I bet that feels bloody good. I bet you do this just to be evil. I bet you do this just because you can.
Well fuck you, Skippy. I'm not letting you do this. I'm not having any of it. Most of the escaped D's are my fault, I admit. I shot them for science. But they're running about the place because of your anomalous effect. You've made them invisible, for all intents and purposes. Thankfully the special containment procedures for most of the important things are secure enough that even invisible D's can't get at them; I can hardly imagine the consequences of SCP-████ getting loose just because some asshole D happens to find its enclosure. But fuck, these D's have been in jail for a very long time, and there's lots of other things they'd like to do other than release skips that being invisible makes doing easier. Poor Dr. █████'s been forced into protective detention for her own safety. You ought to feel bad, you sick piece of shit.
I can't destroy you, but I can stop you. I've taken out ten escaped D's so far. There's about a dozen or so left. Once I'm done with that, that's it. I've conducted personality assessments on myself each day since my "death". I'm beginning to show signs of psychopathy and increasing sexual deviance. Yesterday I found myself thinking about visiting my darling Research Assistant ████████ in the shower. I'm beginning to think about shooting those bastards who put me to work researching you, Drs. ████ and █████████. Fucking hell. If this progresses, I'm going to become another mass-murdering D. Hell no, Skippy. You are not going to do this to me.
Addendum: Incident Log ████-A:
On ██/██/████, Researcher ████ conducted a test on D-████-24 to -27 to determine the penetrative ability of a single "shot" from SCP-████. A single shot was sufficient to cause the disappearance of all subjects. Shortly afterwards, an instance of SCP-████-A manifested, knocking Researcher ████ to the ground as he exited the containment chamber, before the door could be sealed. SCP-████ was accidentally discharged. Researcher ████ and SCP-████ promptly disappeared. SCP-████ is believed to have been neutralised.
Well, look on the bright side, ████. You've always wanted to see what SCP-███ looked like on the inside.
Name: Researcher ████:
Location: Not Applicable (KIA)
Addendum: Death Report of Researcher ████, filed by Research Assistant ████████: On ██/██/████, SCP-███ unexpectedly regurgitated a single humerus bone, found to be from Researcher ████. It is presumed Researcher ████'s accident with SCP-████ resulted in his demise in this manner.
Memo to Staff, Break Room Site-██, ██/██/████: As of ██/██/████, anomalous deposition of seemingly human bodily fluids and wastes has ceased. It is to be presumed the entities responsible have either escaped or died of natural causes, as no report of successful containment or termination has been received. - Head of Security, ████████