SPC-1057
rating: +114+x

Item #: SPC-1057

Shark Punching Contingencies: SPC-1057 is to remain in the Lap Pool at Recreation Center 23 until a method of transfer to a smaller, private tank has been devised. In the interim, the Lap Pool is to be closed, and members redirected to Recreation Center 22 for aquatic training.

Description: SPC-1057 refers to an animate empty space in the shape of a tiger shark. It has no solid physical components, but is capable of displacing water through an unknown mechanism. While no one has observed SPC-1057 consuming food, early punching attempts show that it is capable of biting hands (See Acquisition Log). It is conjectured that SPC-1057 is remarkably smug about this.

Despite a lack of selachian anatomy, the SPC Athletic Counsel has voted to designate SPC-1057 as a standard selachian threat. The Counsel's comments are below:

While some may argue that SPC-1057 is literally a lack of a shark, we have decided that this does fall in of line with the central mission of the SPC. It looks like a shark. It bites like a shark. Most surely it can be punched like a shark. We will continue our innovations in Fist Integrated Stimulation Technology until SPC-1057 receives the right hook it deserves.
- SPC Counsel Member Amy Tulls

Aquisition: SPC-1057 was discovered within the Lap Pool at Recreation Center 23. Two SPC personnel were killed, and fourteen were injured during various attempts to punch SPC-1057. Unfortunately, all such attempts failed, due to the lack of physical shark within the pool. During further examination of the Recreation Center bulletin boards, Document 1057-S24 was located.

Document 1057-S24:

Try to punch this.

P.S. Fuck you.

Are We PETA Yet?

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License