Alright, settle down. I'm gonna call the roll while the Rabbi here matches faces to names. Raise your hand when I call your name. Listen up.
Green. You the art specialist? No? Okay.
Yardley. Anyone know where Yardley is? You're from their CT, right, Leclerc? …I see. I'd appreciate if you'd pass on my condolences when you get the chance.
That everyone? Alright. Good morning. I'm Paul Dimaccio. I command MTF Theta-90, the Angle Grinders. This is Ariel Ben-David of MTF Chi-3, the Exorcists. Welcome to the SCP Foundation Mobile Task Force Directorate.
First of all: congratulations. We know how much work you put in to get this far, and we know that you've all left behind promising careers in containment, security, and, hell, even research. For all that we're gonna give you shit for being rooks, just bear in mind that we know what you've done to get here. This might be the last time you hear these words for a while, so listen close: Well done.
On that subject, lemme outline the next steps a little for ya. Training. You all know you got the same basic program for the next few months. Shit, I think there are janitors that know about MTF Basic School. But… can anyone tell me what happens after that? No? Didn't think so. That's because the details of each MTF's own training are need-to-know. You'll find out what your special-to-task's gonna be like after you've been assigned. And before anyone asks, we'll get to that in a second.
But first, while I got you all here, I'm gonna tell you a few things me and this guy have learned in our service — shit, how much between us, Rabbi? 30 years? Damn — that you might not find in any training manuals. So open your ears and listen up.
First off, MTF structure. Most of you got some idea what this is about, so I'm just gonna give the executive summary. Most Task Forces have the same three basic career tracks for operatives.
Field Agents. These guys are basically the same jack-o'-most-trades field dogs you know already — just better. Most of you who were Field Agents in retrieval teams, plus a few of you from Containment and Security, are gonna be field dogs in your MTF. You'll probably be doing similar shit to what you did before, just harder. A lot harder.
The others from Containment, and all of you from Research, are gonna be Specialists. You guys are gonna be providing critical expertise to your Task Force in its DOS. That means you can probably guess what kinda Task Force you're gonna be deployed into. Mr. Suarez, for example, ain't headed to my crew. We don't exactly have a billet for an anomalous-manuscript expert. But there are Task Forces that do, otherwise he wouldn't be here.
Everyone else, and definitely most of you guys from Security, are gonna be Tactical. You guys are gonna keep the Specialists safe — hell, sometimes the field dogs, too — and basically get the brunt of all the worst shit for your entire careers. Yeah, I see you grinnin'! Used to it, ain't you? But I came in from Security myself, back in the day, so now you got proof: not everyone gets wasted on their third deployment. Just the dumb ones.
Quit pouting, Weiss. I was kidding.
But speaking of deployments, that brings me to the next thing. You're hardly ever gonna deploy. Oh, sure, you're gonna rack up a good number of deployments in your careers, assuming you spend the rest of 'em with us, of course. But new skips don't come along every day, and ones that need a Task Force instead of a regular team to contain 'em — or recontain, sometimes — are even rarer.
Don't get cocky, though, 'cause that doesn't mean it's gonna be slow. You're gonna spend like 90% of your uptime training. Some of you are familiar with that way of doing things already. The rest… you're gonna hate it sometimes, but when you get out on your first deployment… you'll get it. Train hard. Contain easy.
Lemme see; what else I got here… Amnestics. I'm gonna give it to you straight. You're gonna be amnesticized.
Now. It's not the first thing the brass reach for if they think we've seen something they don't like, and it's a lot more targeted with us so they don't waste all that training… but it's gonna happen. Having to be amnesticized is one of the costs of doing business in an MTF. Shit, I've been amnesticized a few times. Some of 'em I was told about, afterwards. The other times I can work out. Obviously, I can't remember, right? Hah.
And you wanna know one of the reasons we don't just get amnesticized every five minutes? The Ethics Committee.
Oh, I see Zimmer thinks I made a joke. Do I look like I'm joking, Agent? I bet you think different, right, Leclerc? Yeah, thought so. You're gonna get more information on this later, but right now I can tell you this: the Committee has a lot more power than you think it has, it has eyes on the Task Forces at all times, and it does not play games. So don't make the mistake of thinking that you can get away with anything you want now you're a high-speed MTF operative. I've seen more than a few rookies learn that the hard way. The Ethics Committee is not a fucking joke. Don't say you weren't warned.
And there's one last thing. You can't handle this job.
Sure, you think you can. You're all hard-chargin' motivated go-getters, or you wouldn't be here. And what about me and the Rabbi and all the other old MTF vets?
Truth is, nobody can really handle this life. You're gonna see, and maybe do, shit that the human mind just wasn't built to be able to deal with. We've got structures in place to help you, but in the meantime, you gotta be prepared that there are things you can't prepare for. Hey, is that some Zen shit, or what? Seriously, though: you know that thing I said about bein' amnesticized? Yeah. Sometimes, you're gonna be asking for it. Gonna help you sleep a little better at night.
Alright! Now I've ended on a happy note and boosted team morale — hah, now you clowns found your sense of humor, huh? — I think we're about done. Real quick, before we go to assignments: questions? Comments? Concerns?
Aziz. Okay, Aziz, I'm gonna answer that, 'cause Specialist Ben-David is just here to observe today. To address your first point, it does happen, though the Rabbi's spent his entire career with the Exorcists. As for the rest, my advice to you is to focus on basic skills now and worry about all that later.
Leclerc? …Okay, I'm gonna answer this, but the answer's for everyone. First, if you don't make it through Basic School you get a pat on the head, a thanks-for-your-time, and returned to your previous unit. After you get amnesticized. Second, here's a free tip. You have to have 100% self-belief and 100% mental strength to make it here, and if you don't, you might wanna think hard about whether or not to go ahead. We clear? Okay. Good.
Zimmer? Nah, it's not based on your career track. You're ex-Navy, right? Yeah, it doesn't work like that. We have Task Force Commanders that started out in all the basic tracks, plus some that started in the weirder tracks a few Task Forces use.
Kildare? Man, you rooks always gotta ask about him, huh. Max Lombardi didn't answer this when you were a rookie regular Agent? One more time, then: yes, he is. MTF Commanders report to him when it comes to training our Task Forces. And the rumors are all bullshit. He's just a guy that's very good at what he does. That cover everything? Outstanding.
Any more questions? No?
Okay. Assignments. Listen up.
Anderson and Jones, you guys are going to shore up the CBRN platoon in Nu-7. Aziz, you'll be with the rabbi here in Chi-3. Bathory, you're off to Psi-7, so if you wondered why the fuck we need civil engineers in MTFs, you're gonna find out real soon. Bernstein, you're going to Iota-10 — and, do me a favor? If you meet Steve Pullmer, say hi to him for me.
Where was I? Okay. Green. You, Yakub and Zimmer are all going to Zeta-9. Unlucky. Hah! Nah, they're good. We got a little rivalry goin' on with them 'cause of the related DOSes. Kildare, you're with Nu-2. If you see Dr. Trebuchet, tell her I said hi. Lamont! You wonder why you didn't go to Nu-7 with the other two? You're off to the Maz Hatters, buddy. Beta-7. Have fun with that.
Let's see, last few… Leclerc, you're off to Mu-4. Try not to jump at too many shadows. Suarez, you're assigned to Rho-1. Apparently they got some things they want you to read. Wang, you're also going to Rho-1 'cause they're short on Tactical guys with your specialist skills. And Weiss, I guess you drew the short straw, 'cause you're with me in Theta-90.
Alright. Ten minute break. Don't leave the Red Area. Be back here at quarter after so we can get started on your inprocessing paperwork. Yeah, Wang, already. Welcome to the Task Forces.
See you in ten.