Tales of the Automaton: The Big Birdocalypse
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Site-17 was in ruins. The once well-kept grounds of the site were littered with debris and ash. Inside the site, tables were overturned, shattered glass was spread, and the containment cells were empty. The horrors they had once contained had either succumbed to the flock of humans that now roamed the land, or had taken one look at what was now Earth and decided to leave immediately. The containment chambers that still worked were running on badly-damaged emergency generators or what was left of Site-17's power supply.

SCP-2785 walked the halls of Site-17 as the emergency generators hummed in the background. It reminded him of bees. He remembered a time bees tried to sting him for stealing their honey, but they couldn't sting him because he was made of metal. It was sad, because SCP-2785 didn't like hurting the bees. Now he’d never steal honey, because stealing was wrong.

He found the gate to the site. It was now open, the lock shattered by the brute force of some other anomaly. SCP-2785 stepped through the doors and into the open desert to look for new friends.


SCP-2785, after strenuous and completely random navigation through the desert, finally came upon a town. It was like an oasis in the middle of the desert. SCP-2785 saw buildings, roads, and most importantly, all sorts of new people to make friends with!

After walking through the rusted town gates and entering the dusty, litter-filled streets, SCP-2785 looked around for people. It seemed that several were taking naps— some were even taking naps in a weird, red, gooey liquid— but SCP-2785 only found one person who was awake.

SCP-2785 felt excited as he approached the man. Wanting to start off on the right foot, he cleared his non-existent throat and tried to talk in a calm voice. "Hello there, stranger!" he said, "Do you want to be friends?"

The man turned around with a blank expression on his face and screeched a little. After a burst of initial confusion, SCP-2785 realized that screech sounded something like "yes", and the confusion was instantly replaced with a great amount of excitement. In the first time in what seemed like forever, SCP-2785 had made a new friend!

"Hooray!" SCP-2785 shouted with glee. "Where would you like to go first, new friend!"

The new friend started to trot slowly away, stepping around the larger piles of litter. SCP-2785 followed with enthusiasm.


After spending some time wandering around the dry, sandy city with his new friend (SCP-2785 figured that he was exercising; SCP-2785 decided that he could stand to lose a few pounds and jogged with him), he entered a jewelry shop. The window was broken open, and there weren't any lights on inside. "Are we going to buy some jewelry?" SCP-2785 asked. The new friend didn't say anything as he entered the store.

As he entered the store, SCP-2785 was dazzled by the array of gems and fineries around him. SCP-2785 couldn't wait to try them on! Of course, this dazzling was dampened by the scattered glass and litter in the shop, but SCP-2785 wasn't one to judge.

Looking at his new friend, however, SCP-2785 noted that he didn't have any jewelry. SCP-2785 was made out of metal; he sparkled no matter what. However, his new friend didn't have a single sparkle to spare! It would be a crime— no, an affront to basic decency!— for SCP-2785 to leave his new friend without even one piece of jewelry!

SCP-2785 walked over to one of the shattered display cases and took out a grey-and-white ring that he thought would match his new friend's fashionably torn shirt. Then, he walked over to his new friend, and slid the ring onto his finger. "Do you like it?" he asked.

His new friend squealed a little in response, and wet himself. SCP-2785 interpreted this as a yes, and if he could've, he would've blushed. He just helped his new friend!

SCP-2785 got to work.


An hour later, his new friend (who SCP-2785 now called Crar, based upon his screeches) was looking shinier than ever! He wore ten shining rings, five diamond necklaces, a crown that made him look like a king, jewel-encrusted sunglasses, and a golden, amazing-looking chain around his neck! "I think you look great!" SCP-2785 said.

Crar screeched in affirmation, and began to leave the shop.

Suddenly, SCP-2785 felt that something wasn't right. He searched his memory, like a housekeeper frantically searching his house, until he found what he was looking for: the Site Director telling him the rules. SCP-2785 remembered…

"Alright, 2785, we've got a few rules around here. No fighting, no escaping, and no stealing. If you do any of these things, we'll have to take away some of your privileges."

…no stealing…

…we'll have to take away some of your privileges…

The realization hit SCP-2785 like a baseball bat. He was stealing! And if he was caught stealing, the Site Director would take away his privileges! He had to do something!

"Come back here, Crar!" SCP-2785 shouted while running at Crar. Crar, seeing a robot run directly at him, screeched and began to flee. SCP-2785 dashed after him in pursuit.


SCP-2785 eventually chased Crar out of town and into the burning hot desert. Fortunately, SCP-2785 didn't mind the heat. The chase continued past another, more dilapidated town, around a range of monolithic mountains, and into a tranquil birch-wood forest. The calls of animals were gone, replaced with a peaceful silence and the mechanical wheezing of SCP-2785 running at the loudly screeching Crar.

Although Crar was somewhat weighed down by his jewelry, SCP-2785 hadn't prioritized running in his latest Transformation, and so they were about the same speed. After a few hours of zigzagging through desert and wilderness, Crar began to slow down from exhaustion, and SCP-2785 caught him in a protective embrace. Crar screeched a little before passing out.

As SCP-2785 hoisted Crar in a fireman's carry, it dawned on him that he had no idea where he was. He used to be in a desert, now he was in a forest. The birchwood trees reminded him of those from his homeland, but he didn't want to worry about that now. No worries! he thought to himself, I'll just look around and try to find things that look familiar!

SCP-2785 looked up and saw the sun, hanging over the sky, eternal. Okay, too familiar. He looked lower, and saw a snow-capped mountain. SCP-2785 didn't remember seeing a snow-capped mountain back in the town. He also saw a skyscraper in the distance. It wasn't the fanciest skyscraper in the world; even from the distance, SCP-2785 could make out broken windows, dirty balconies, and the dark brown ooze of disrepair seeping over the building. But looking at the skyscraper gave SCP-2785 an idea.

What if I climbed to the top, and looked for the city from there? It was a genius idea!

SCP-2785 set off in the direction of the tower, Crar in stow.


After some time, Crar woke up, and tried to squirm away from SCP-2785. But not wanting a repeat of the earlier incident, SCP-2785 held him in the fireman's carry. Eventually, SCP-2785 found some twine that he was able to use as a leash, and he wrapped it around Crar's waist. It reminded SCP-2785 of the dog that Dr. Jonas occasionally brought to the site. SCP-2785 wondered where that dog was now. Crar wondered where he could find the nearest seeds.

Crar, after struggling, eventually became resigned to the leash and walked along with SCP-2785. However, once the sun starting going down, Crar became sluggish, and SCP-2785 decided he needed some sleep.

SCP-2785 found a heavy boulder that he used to weigh down Crar's leash. He couldn't find a blanket, so he decided to improvise. He circled the flat plain he had decided to sleep in, and collected leaves into a pile. Then, he covered Crar with the pile of leaves, and snuck another pile underneath his head to act as a pillow. Still worried about his warmth, SCP-2785 curled up next to Crar to keep him warm, using the heat from his Core.

"Goodnight, Crar," said SCP-2785, giving him the closest thing to a goodnight kiss before pretending to fall asleep.


Another day of walking through the empty forest passed, and the dilapidated tower became slightly closer. SCP-2785 weighed down Crar's leash again and, remembering what he once saw in the signals, piled some small twigs he found laying around and ignited them by rubbing two together. Sitting at the tiny campfire with his new friend, SCP-2785 felt a certain tranquility in the night.

"How are you today, Mr. Crar?" SCP-2785 asked.

Crar squealed a little in response. SCP-2785 figured that he was a man of few words. He still wore his jewelry, which glittered in the light of the campfire, making Crar look like a disco ball. This was followed by an awkward silence.

"Have you noticed that everybody's seemed to go away?" SCP-2785 said to break the silence, "I haven't seen anybody except for you, and, when I got out of Site-17, I didn't even see one of my old friends!"

Crar stared at him with beady eyes, which SCP-2785 took as a signal to go on.

"It's just… I want to see more people. I was made to help people! I feel like, if I can make just one person happier, then I'll be happy. I like seeing everybody smile. But, you're the only one here, and I haven't seen you smile."

Crar looked at him with the tight-lipped expression that he'd always looked at him with, still sort-of staring at him with those beady eyes.

"Do you think you could do me a favor, and smile? Please?"

Crar did nothing but screech a little.

"You know what, you're right, I'm ranting. Good night."

SCP-2785 laid down with Crar, ignoring the pinecones and weeds, and pretended to fall asleep.


"Hey, we got somebody."

Agent Gully nudged Agent Gullison awake with his wing. He pointed at the security monitor, at what appeared to be a robot carrying a knocked-out person covered in jewelry.

"Hold on, I recognize him," said Agent Gullison as he pulled up the mainlist on his laptop. After typing in some key words into a search engine, he loaded an SCP file. "Item Number: SCP-2785," read Gullison, "Object Class: Euclid."

"Let's call Dr. Hoygull," Gully said.


The serene silence that SCP-2785 loved about the forest was suddenly shattered by soft footprints causing the leaves to crunch. He saw a group of seagulls walk out of the forest with very stern bird looks on their bird faces. They wore lab coasts sized perfectly for seagulls, making them look like tiny scientists.

"Hello!" said SCP-2785.

The seagull in front took out a pen and a sheet of paper, put the pen in its mouth, and began to write on it.

"Um… I can't read," said SCP-2785.

The seagull clutched his head with his wing in disappointment.

"But… uh… I can't read… English!" replied SCP-2785, struggling with the word, "I can read… uh… the other language!"

One of the other seagulls stepped forwards, took the sheet of paper, and wrote in the language that SCP-2785 could read: Russian.

"Hello!" the seagull wrote, "can you read this?"

"I can understand you!" replied SCP-2785, "Do you want to be friends?"

"Yes," replied the seagull, "but we need your help."

"Oh!" SCP-2785 said, feeling the excitement creeping in, "What do you need help with?"

"You probably haven't seen a lot of people in a while. We're looking for people too. If you c-"

"Yes, yes, yes!" replied SCP-2785 before they could even finish.

One seagull looked at the other one, muttered something in their obscure language and nodded.

"Good," wrote the seagull in front, "come with us to the tower."

"But what about Crar?" said SCP-2785, pointing to him, still following with the leash.

The front seagull looked at the other one with a nervous look. "We're going to have to leave him here." he wrote, "I'm sorry, but we can't bring him to the Site. I don't think you'll understand— there's so much we need to tell you— but if we bring him to the site, it'll compromise everything we've worked for. It's either him or us."

SCP-2785 looked over to the seagulls. They wore neat lab coats and looked at him with focused eyes, and had beaks instead of mouths. He tried to imagine one of the seagulls smiling, but his imagination was weak and he couldn't. He looked back to Crar, with his ruffled brown hair, beady eyes, and tight-lipped mouth. He'd never seen him smile, but would he? Eventually?

He looked to the seagulls, and back to Crar. SCP-2785 had made a promise to the seagulls, but could he really leave Crar behind? After everything that they'd been through?

After some deliberation, he decided to make a choice.

"I'll come with you," he said to the seagulls, while cutting Crar's leash off. It felt like SCP-2785 was cutting his own wires. Crar stood up, screeched one final time, and went off into the forest.

"Good," the front seagull wrote, "come with us to the Site. It's in the tower up there."

As he began to leave with the seagulls, SCP-2785 looked back to Crar, the last friend that he might ever make. He hadn't seen another human who wasn't asleep in his entire journey. Trying to shove the thoughts of Crar down deep inside himself, SCP-2785 turned back around and continued to approach the spire.

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