The Conceptual Theology of Physical Existence
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Yesterday, I learnt a fact that will change my life forever.

Over a week or two, it'd been slowly fitting together, but it was only yesterday the last piece fell in. Useless information if you don't know about James, though.

James was the good guy on block, always making sure he kept to the rules. Usually he only needed to remember to forget - infohazards were his specialty, you see. Stuff that hurts you while you know, but can't do anything if you don't remember it. That was what he was ace at. Guys who were learning the basics really looked up to him. Overseers kept him on speed dial, in case something special came up. The go-to legend, he was.

Plenty of people around here liked him, too. Really friendly guy, helped out if he had time to. A lot of people would've gotten fired, or worse, if it wasn't for him. Nearly everyone owed him in some way or another.

'Killed that spider before it ate me.'

'Educated me in type-four retrophysics.'

Damn beautiful heart, he had.

But then he just didn't show up one day. Yeah, some guys went around to his place to check on him. They found him dead in the shower. He must've slipped while washing himself, because the water was still running. Everyone was just… really shocked at how sudden it all was.

Pretty upsetting, especially when a bunch of jokers started acting like he was still around. Really fucking rude way of doing it, too; they'd be standing around talking, mentioning his names a couple of times like he was there with them. A couple of fights did happen, yeah, but they were pretty persistent about doing it. Nobody could get them to stop, so other people started joining in after awhile.

'Karma will hit them hard,' I thought to myself.

Pretty surprising when it turned out I was the one who was wrong. All that time with infohazards and memes had really paid off for James. The sly bugger had figured out how to ascend, turned himself into information. Reached my head last out of the entire staff of Site-45, but man, he was glad he had finally reached me.

Out of everyone, I was the one he'd been aiming for the whole time, to tell me one simple thing that changed my entire perspective of life:

'Look at the first letter of every sentence.'

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