To boared: Please see attached memo for delivering to new hires. I make personalized, but I don't have to sign all of them. I will make signature in MSPAINT and we can copy it on new forms for new hires so it look good and formal ;)
ps I make company logo and scan, but I want it made pretty for official use, not my silly crayon drawing.
- Petter Vangen
Also please attach make clear the following new products fit for produce whether it is done or requiring more to it.
- Sometimes you only have so much to say. Why waste precious two-sided paper when you can buy only what you need? This "Magic Paper", patent pending, is available at a fraction of the cost of normal paper, and allows you to use only as much as you need, no waste! As an added bonus, you can use the other side as storage space if your desk is too messy!
- Pain in your neck? Go to a doctor; it's a thyroid issue. Go to another doctor; it's just cramps. Go to another doctor; IT'S CANCER. Can't get a straight diagnosis for your problem? Solve it all at once. This is the sort of thing that changes the world, if only the world would let us. Due to limited supplies, it is not recommended for being used too much. As well, testing has yielded unusual side effects, so schedule an appointment with our company doctors before deciding on our product. We're going to make it through this, I promise you.
- The future is yesterday! Now you can have a friendly robot friend of your own! Friends always do things for their friends, don't they? Now Smith Jim will reward your friendship the best way he knows how — by giving invaluable life advice, and the free option to process any sort of metal object into finer metal object. Lead to gold? Not quite, but you will finally be able to make something useful of all that worthless stuff you've got in your basement!
Please be sure for letting me know.
From: Tobes - 2011
- No confirmation as to whether this was our people. Guys, we can't have this kind of shit happening, especially in active work areas. We're shutting down operations in 19 because of this. Everyone in 14, 15, 22, 91, and 102 be prepared to pull out at a moment's notice.
To: Stuff Board
Subject: Heads up
Heads up, guys, we've gotten some people looking in to our time at "Stuff" Industry. It's been almost a decade, so it's probably not a problem, but if any of you have got some unpleasant things to be dug up from your time under Vangen, watch out, some moron calling herself "Dodger" is asking a whole lot of questions about the business. Most likely she's harmless, but I've done some research into the group she works for, and it sounds like they're all in the "know", if you get what I mean.
See you all on the other side
Paget Chevalier 11/19/99