Trick or Treat
rating: +110+x

Hey, pal, nice costume. Yeah. I like the way it's just your face with a couple of strings attached.

Okay, that's far enough. Yeah, it's a real piece, so why don't you come along quiet-like? That's the ticket. Just over here, an' we can have a little talk.

So, the reason I'm here is—stop that. It ain't gonna work. We had plenty of time t'figure out what it was you did, an' we got a fix for it. So you can just relax. You're collared, so you might as well find out who by.

Anyway, the reason I'm here is that I'm part of a group what contains objects or people what are of an unusual nature. Yeah, like yerself. Sucks t'be you, I know.

Now, you could try t'run, but this gun'll stop you before you get too far. Won't kill ya, but you'll get a helluva headache when you wake up. This'd drop a horse, an' you weigh a helluva lot less than a horse.

So, I came here t'find out if the rumors were true, an' there really was somethin' here matchin' your description. We saw you a couple days ago, but I figured we'd see you out on the town t'night.

I always liked Halloween. I could have any face I wanted. You got a face like mine, you look forward to wearin' a mask. So I sympathize. Only time of the year you get to come out an' mingle.

Anyway, we just been waitin' fer you to come out where we could nab ya. My partner's watchin' us, an' pretty soon we'll go for a ride in our van to yer new home.

Ain't fair? Yeah, I know. I get that a lot. An' yer right, it ain't. This were an ideal world, we could all live in peace. Unfortunately, you an' me were born in a cold bastard of a universe what doesn't give a fuck about fairness or justice. All we got is the best we can do.

Yer ma? I'm sorry, kid. We can't go back to see her. I'll make sure to get someone t'talk to her so she don't worry too much. Honestly, she's probably not gonna remember a whole lot of this. It's one of the things we do. But we'll make sure she's okay. You got my word. Hell, tell you what. We bring you in, we'll say you agreed on condition we get some cash to her, make sure she's nice an' comfy for the rest of her life. The higher-ups will buy it. First lesson for ya. Skips who cooperate have life a hell of a lot easier than the ones who fight back. They'll get what they want no matter what, but you could make things easier on 'em. They ain't stupid. They'll reward good behavior.

I can't let you go, kid. Yer in too deep. Yeah, you say you won't hurt nobody, an' I believe ya. But we ain't the only ones out there. There's other folks in this game. Only they don't want to keep you contained. They wanna kill you, or worse, turn you into a weapon. They could make you hurt people. I seen it done. An' they'll hurt people t'get to you. People like yer ma.

See, there's a lot of threats out there. Some of 'em are other people. Some of 'em are things that would destroy the world if we let 'em. I've seen what's out there, an' it ain't friendly. Some of it's wonderful, some of it may help us, but some of it sincerely scares the shit outta me, an' I don't scare easy. There are so many things out to get us, someone's gotta be out there on humanity's side.

Nobody's on your side? …Yeah, but I'll tell ya what. You have any real problems, you think your bein' treated too cruel, tell yer guard to get word to Max Lombardi. I don't got a whole lotta pull myself, but I could maybe put a word in the ear of someone who does. Ain't gonna promise nothin'. Nobody's gonna make everythin' right, y'know. We just do the best we can.

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