Trilobutts: Many Reasons To Kill Them, and 0 Reasons Not To
rating: +43+x

Hell yes! Spots of light are basically as evil as trilobites and they should die too!

You ready your weapons, preparing to go full-on nuclear this time because you're a bad boy who doesn't play by the rules but then the spot of light starts getting closer and closer to you.

You see that it's another anomalocaris! Except it has a beard and is wearing a green cloak.

"Hello, anomalocaris!" you greet it. "I thought that you were a trilobite but you are an anomalocaris and that exempts you from being a trilobite. Unless you are a lot of trilobites wearing the skin of an anomalocaris, but I do not think that they would do that."

"Shut up." it hisses. "I'm not an anomalocaris—"

You gasp. "A traitor! You must be trilobites!"

You ready an array of weapons and direct every single one of them at its fucking face.

"No, no!" it protests. "My name is the Book Keeper. You're in a dream. I'm being forced to keep you—"

"But but but but but!" you interrupt, "there are no Books to Keep, underwater, so you must be a traitorbite."

"No!" it cries. "Please. You have to trust me for just one moment, at least long enough for me to tell you what I need to say!"

Do you trust it?

This was written as part of the SCP Original Character Tournament, Round One, between NatVoltaicNatVoltaic's Gunhead Anomalocaris, Trilobite Slayer! and my own Senior Researcher ████ ████████.

I highly recommend that you check out NatVoltaic's entry, Derailment By Prehistoric Artillery Strike, which is far better than my crude imitation!

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