Trilobutts: Many Reasons To Kill Them, and 0 Reasons Not To
rating: +44+x

You whip out your nuclear shotgun boomer plasma destruction kaboom big bang cannons and you fucking blitz the trilobite bastard with bullets and shrapnel and enough radiation to sterilise a planet.

And when you stop, the ocean is radiated as hell and you've caused the Permian-Triassic extinction event. And it's still far, far less than that fucking trilobite deserves. You are a merciful god.

It's all in a day's work. But, so long as trilobites remain out there, the work doesn't stop.

And that's okay. At least you have a role in this world.

You keep swimming.


This was written as part of the SCP Original Character Tournament, Round One, between NatVoltaicNatVoltaic's Gunhead Anomalocaris, Trilobite Slayer! and my own Senior Researcher ████ ████████.

I highly recommend that you check out NatVoltaic's entry, Derailment By Prehistoric Artillery Strike, which is far better than my crude imitation!



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